Before I was married I thought that couples counselling was for marriages on the brink of divorce. In television and movies, counselling is for couples who have experienced infidelity or marital dysfunction. It’s a final effort to keep a marriage from unravelling, and one that usually doesn’t … [Read more...]
Enough
Every single day I wonder: "Have I done enough for him?" "Am I doing enough for him?" "Did I do enough today?" "Do we have enough money for this? "Is my effort and energy enough?" And every single day I think the answer is no. I know that I can only do what I can do but I always go to … [Read more...]
New cure for Autism – BLEACH!
As a mom to two children who live life to the fullest despite the challenges they face due to Autism I must say I have heard and read about many supposed things that will prevent, help, and even cure Autism. Special diets, not vaccinating your children, changing your own behavior as a parent … [Read more...]
Love.
I have been thinking a lot lately about love. Especially as it relates to, for lack of a better description, romantic love. We all know I have a lot to figure out and sorting through some of my feelings on this topic would certainly help. My therapist has encouraged me to relax and "just let … [Read more...]
Confession.
I walked into Dr. C's office and after our initial how are you's I decided to dive right in. I knew I would lose my courage if I waited too long."I have something I need to tell you." I blurted out."Please do." Dr. C responded calmly, knowingly."I am having an affair. I mean, I am in love … [Read more...]
Therapy.
It has been a number of months since I began this duplicitous life. I know it can't last. And, really, I don't want it to. The last while has been a period of self-discovery but also intense emotional pain and stress. The deception is killing me but it is also what keeps me getting out of bed every … [Read more...]
Moving Forward
I feel like my life has 3 modes - moving forward, plateau and regression. And that's the cycle we tend to go in - moving forward, then hit a plateau and then fall into regression.When we are in "regression" - life sucks. Truly sucks. Cuyler screams at everything and everybody. … [Read more...]
The Lows
I've been wanting/trying to write this post for awhile now but just couldn't do it. Or didn't want to. Could be part of denial and just not wanting to face what is right in front of me...but there it is.Autism. Everyday. I like to think that we can live our life like … [Read more...]
Bitterness or Denial? You be the judge (but don’t judge me)
Yesterday I received a phone call from a woman from ASD-CARC. She introduced herself and told me that I had signed with them in 2005. I vaguely remember something about that. They are a research facility and are funded by several agencies and are supported by Queens University among other … [Read more...]
FAQ’s
There are 2 questions that are most frequently asked of me as a mom raising a child with autism.The first is usually asked by those who do not have kids on the spectrum (but not always)."Where do you think the autism came from / What caused the autism?"And the other question is usually asked by … [Read more...]