Every single day I wonder:
I know that I can only do what I can do but I always go to bed thinking that I could have done more.
I know that myself, I read about and see what others are doing for their kids. The therapies and remedial programs they are involved with. The professionals they see.
Why didn’t I think of that?
I should have done that when he was first diagnosed.
I wonder if he could benefit from that?
That sounds like something he could really use.
I don’t dream about a Hawaiian vacation or a cruise with my husband or a family trip to Disney.
My daydreams are about all the things I could do for him if money were no object.
The never ending help I could buy my kid. The programs I could put him in. The professional home schooling I could provide for him.
I have 2 other children and it carries over to them:
I wish I could cut myself some slack. I think it’s a general maternal thing, but much more profound while raising a child with special needs.
It is when we are in those valleys that I always question whether or not we’re doing enough. Always looking for the reason why we are in the funk.
We are coming out of the funk so that tells me that we are doing something right.
We’re doing enough. We did enough for today.
Tomorrow I will try to do better.