Have you heard the news? The month of May is Mental Illness Awareness Month and as a mom of eight children - two of them suffer from mental illness I have always been an advocate for my children, but now I must hurry before time runs out! Mental illness is a silent disability affecting … [Read more...]
Strength.
Well, the honeymoon is over. The peaceful days after my release from the hospital are gone as I have been gradually weaned off most of my meds. That numb oblivion has been replaced by my harsh reality. I am coming back to the realization that my life is a mess and I have no idea how to fix it. But … [Read more...]
Home.
After I left the hospital Joel and I decided that I would come home. At least for now. Truly, it was the only option. It is best for the kids and we have full-time care so I won't be alone. That was Joel's one condition, "Just in case." He explained. I have set up a little respite for myself in … [Read more...]
Take Me.
Today I have a visitor. It will soon be time for me to go home. Where that is I have yet to figure out exactly, but I am on my way. But for today I am focused solely on one thing - my time with Jackson.I haven't seen Jackson since I came here. So much has happened that I don't really know how it … [Read more...]
The Truth.
I am feeling better. Well, that's not exactly true. In many ways I feel worse. The pain is greater and the reality of my situation is smothering. But at least I am feeling something. And often now there is clarity which is a change. I still get overwhelmed. The confusion and chaos take over. … [Read more...]
Resistance.
They have reduced my medication. They say I am ready but I am not so sure. I have changed. I no longer just go along with things. I have given up the "nod and smile". Now I cry and scream and let it out. I am resistant. Most of the time I don't want to find my way back. I wonder if they … [Read more...]
Deep.
The overwhelming sadness and despair has consumed me. It has been ages.Time has both stood still and gone on forever. Just now am I beginning to see small cracks. Often they are too much and I sink back again. Hope can be its own demon. My room at the hospital is cheerfully … [Read more...]
Release.
My life is a mess. It has all blown up. I am drowning. I am tired. I don't even know where to begin. I am so alone. And confused. I don't think I can do this anymore. I dream of disappearing. Woosh. Gone. I don't think about where I would go or what I would do or what would happen to those … [Read more...]
Reclaim Your Mother’s Day
By Maija from maijasmommymoments.com "Did you keep the receipt?""I think so. Don't you like it?""I hate it. I can't believe you would buy this for me."Any other mother in the entire world would have faked a smile and a thank you and tucked the purse away for strategic appearances that … [Read more...]