Things finally blew up with Joel. One evening after the kids were in bed I decided we couldn't go on like this anymore. We hadn't spoken more than pleasantries for ages and when I tried to pin him down he would get up and leave saying, "just get better" as he walked away. I followed him around … [Read more...]
Eleven: The Middle Part
I wouldn't bother to polish the bathroom chrome if I didn't think he noticed or appreciated it.* * *If ours is to be a long marriage (and I hope it is) then I suppose we will look back on these years as being the middle part. I'm not sure what all the right components or ingredients are, or if … [Read more...]
Strength.
Well, the honeymoon is over. The peaceful days after my release from the hospital are gone as I have been gradually weaned off most of my meds. That numb oblivion has been replaced by my harsh reality. I am coming back to the realization that my life is a mess and I have no idea how to fix it. But … [Read more...]
SEX AFTER KIDS? HELL YES!
Sex after having kids? Well considering that I have 8 children there must be, but I was reading an article online the other day http://www.todaysparent.com/lifeasparent/sexrelationships/article.jsp?content=20101220_102740_4976&page=1 and was saddened and shocked by this poor woman's story of … [Read more...]
Take Me.
Today I have a visitor. It will soon be time for me to go home. Where that is I have yet to figure out exactly, but I am on my way. But for today I am focused solely on one thing - my time with Jackson.I haven't seen Jackson since I came here. So much has happened that I don't really know how it … [Read more...]
What makes a great marriage ?
Marriages have resilience the same way other things do; friendships, the human body, the human spirit and perhaps most resilient of all; children. (At least we are all hoping this is true)I have heard and observed too first hand, that this resilience has an expiry and drop dead time frame. … [Read more...]
What’s in a Name?
It was Shakespeare who wrote that, and by george, the Bard is usually one smart cookie. But here's a case where I might just have to disagree with his poetic wisdom. Because I happen to think that names are actually pretty important. Well, at least to me. Which is precisely why I had such a terribly … [Read more...]
Anniver…say what?!
My husband and I will be celebrating our ninth anniversary next week.Before we had kids we used to plan a weekend away to commemorate our commitment, but then our eldest daughter came along, with a birthday that just happened to fall one day before our anniversary. I remember lying in the hospital … [Read more...]
Budget or Fudge It?
We're at that point in the year when we're looking ahead to the fall, scratching our heads and wondering how on earth we're going to pay for all of the expenses looming in September. Now that our second daughter is nearly three, she will be old enough for preschool and ballet and swimming … [Read more...]
Release.
My life is a mess. It has all blown up. I am drowning. I am tired. I don't even know where to begin. I am so alone. And confused. I don't think I can do this anymore. I dream of disappearing. Woosh. Gone. I don't think about where I would go or what I would do or what would happen to those … [Read more...]
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