The truth is, I don't know. The story of our relationship isn't written yet. I suspect it has about as good a chance as any marriage. Couples break up because of basic personality conflicts, stress over money, work or kids, cheating, or simply falling out of love. Having an open marriage is no more … [Read more...]
Simultaneous Love
When we were swinging, there was never any emotional connection. It was just sex, and there was no opportunity for it to become more. We did things together, never separate. With polyamory, it's a completely different thing. Now there's the emotional connection. People ask me, how can I share his … [Read more...]
The Demographics of Adultury
The National Post recently posted an interesting infographic from the Kinsey Institute on the demographics of adultery. Since the 1990s, the number of women who reported ever having an affair has risen to 19% from about 12%. Men have stayed stable at around 23%. When romantic transgressions … [Read more...]
What’s Missing?
I've heard the argument that my main relationship must be lacking something that I need. That I'm not fulfilled. I disagree. I was deeply satisfied by my relationship before we opened it up, and if one of us decided to close it, I feel I'd still be deeply satisfied by my relationship. For us, it's … [Read more...]
The Jealousy Question
Do I get jealous? Yes, sometimes.My jealousy stems from two main areas. First, I'm jealous when I don't have enough information. When I know where my husband is, what girl he is with, and have a general idea of what they'll be doing, I'm not jealous. However, when there's a new girl in his office … [Read more...]
We are not alone
In a study by Philip Blumstein and Pepper Schwartz in 1983, they discovered in a random survey of of 3,498 married men, 903 had an agreement with their spouses allowing extramarital sex, or 26%. Out of 3,520 married women, 801 had an agreement with their spouses allowing extramarital sex, or … [Read more...]
No Strings Attached Sex
When we stepped into swinging initially, it was strictly for sexual exploration. We didn't have any outside contact with the couples we met up with, other than to have a drink or dinner as a precursor to ending up in bed with them. It was straight up, casual, no strings attached sex. Here's an … [Read more...]
Tell me Everything
The key to any good marriage is definitely good communication. It's feeling comfortable telling your partner what you're really thinking and being ok with listening to how they feel as well. In an open marriage - it's absolutely critical. We communicate exceptionally well in our relationship. I … [Read more...]
Label it
Last week I wrote about how it all started. Today, I'd like to address where we've ended up - at least in terms of what to call what we're doing. There's a lot of labeling in our world. It's certainly easier to judge someone when you can shoehorn them into a box and slap a label on the outside. … [Read more...]
How it all Began
My husband and I recently celebrated 14 years of marriage. We're perfectly complimentary - I'm an extrovert, he's an introvert. When I get amped about an idea, he helps me make the tactical plans, and when he's reticent to participate in something, I'll nudge him along and help smooth his way … [Read more...]