Do I get jealous? Yes, sometimes.
My jealousy stems from two main areas. First, I’m jealous when I don’t have enough information. When I know where my husband is, what girl he is with, and have a general idea of what they’ll be doing, I’m not jealous. However, when there’s a new girl in his office and he says she’s cute, I might experience a pang of jealously. Seems a little silly, no? But there you go.
I can also get jealous when I feel like time I want, or emotions or actions I want, from my husband are not being given to me because he’s busy meeting someone else’s needs. If he never replies to my texts but gets sore fingers from tapping out messages to her all day long, I’m going to turn into a green eyed monster.
I experience jealousy, as a physical reaction. I don’t feel jealous with my head, I feel it in my gut – a twisting, wrenching sensation that elevates my heart rate and makes me feel nauseous. And it passes, and then I’m fine. And the more we open ourselves to other people, the deeper our connection grows, and the less jealousy rears its ugly face in my emotional range.
I don’t own my partner, and he doesn’t own me. Even if we had a closed marriage, I wouldn’t expect him to never look at other women, never smile at the pretty girl in the office, never think about another woman. It’s not realistic. And frankly, when it comes right down to it, I think I’m a great partner and we have a great relationship. While there’s the potential for him to fall in love with another women so completely that he no longer wants me, the same potential exists even if we had a closed marriage. Isn’t that how many traditional marriages end? And if it happened, I’d survive it.
I’d rather live enjoying and exploring with love than to dwell in fear, which is really the root of jealousy.