I'm the Queen of the Never Ending To Do List. It's an awful lot to fit on a beauty pageant sash. I asked my son about his to do list for the summer and the results were entertaining: 1. Play Minecraft This habit forming technological gem is creative. You use blocks to build houses and other … [Read more...]
Call Me Maybe—Mommy’s Air Conditioner Missed Connection
Dear random dude at the hardware store: Sorry you thought I might kiss you, but in my defence, you did tell me where I could find a cheaper, more effective air conditioner. Call me maybe? 98 Degrees was a pretty good boy band back in the day. 87 degrees, though, that's a terrible room … [Read more...]
That’s Not My Name
I can relate to that little ditty by the Ting Tings "That's not my name". Since I've become a mom, I don't know who the heck I am. Not just in a morning coffee, my Starbucks cup rarely reflects my true identity kind of way. It's a form of suburban witness protection, I guess. I get extra L's, Y's, … [Read more...]
Finding My Inner Mom Ninja
There's a great song by Classified about finding your inner ninja. It's catchy and peppy. It makes you want to sing along and dance a little. It's about pushing through and finding your awesome deep inside. Parenting is hard and to survive, you have to find your inner ninja. A lot of my parenting … [Read more...]
No Girls Allowed
"No girls allowed." That's what the sign said, propped up against the opening of my son's makeshift fort. He was curled up in there with his Chromebook, a lamp and a bowl of snacks. He was in his "boy cave", not to be disturbed under any circumstances. The sign was directed at me, obviously. I'm the … [Read more...]
Made From Scratch Vs. Out Of The Box
I think all kids are a bit weird about food. Mine was particularly weird about food the other day. He asked me where black toast comes from. I told him that's what happens when you burn breakfast. It was a weird question,so I had to ask where it was coming from. "Well, mommy," he said, "the duck … [Read more...]
Why My Kid Is My Life Coach
Some people go to great lengths to find a life coach: someone who really understands and can help focus them to achieve their goals. I feel like I'm at a crossroad in my life and I was thinking I could use some coaching. What I realized was that I really don't need to look any further than my own … [Read more...]
Grocery Shopping Alone: How Parenting Has Changed Me
The evidence was staring me right in the face. Parenting has changed me. It’s not just that I can’t respond to a question with “Everything is awesome” without getting that stupid song stuck in my head. Under “Things Mom Likes To Do For Fun” on his mother’s day questionnaire, my son wrote “My … [Read more...]
Hoarders: The Pediatric Edition
It is a scientific fact that you can tell your child 500 times to clean his room and he will not hear you, but he will definitely hear the crinkle of a bag of potato chips opened surreptitiously after bedtime. I look at his bedroom and am struck by the thought that housekeeping skills just might be … [Read more...]
Where’s My Mother Of The Year Award?
It’s award show season and I’m just a teeny bit fed up of the red carpet. Maybe I’m just jealous because mine is only red in splotches from fruit punch. Maybe I’m waiting on my Mother of the Year award, like Susan Lucci and her Emmy all those years ago. It will probably take me 18 years to win that … [Read more...]
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