The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. - George Bernard Shaw I went to an End Of Life Choices seminar with my mom last week. I want to share some of what was presented. The ideas might be simple but because the topic is so heady, we can … [Read more...]
Closure
I never fully understood the need for closure. I never felt any emotional trigger when an event designed for closure happened in my life. Whether it was the end of significant life chapter or resolving a particular conflict, I don’t remember walking away, wiping my non-sweaty brow and saying “phew” … [Read more...]
Alice
My dog died the other night. It was shocking but not surprising considering her fulsome life. I basically eulogized her here, so I will not again (ok a little bit) but as the category above suggests, this indeed was a life event. Two things stood out about Alice’s passing. First, my eldest son, … [Read more...]
Love You Forever However We Can
I originally posted this during my mom's battle with cancer 4 years ago but I was taken back to this place watching my sister-in-law care for her mother, my mother-in-law. We lost her this past Sunday. This post is to all of the daughters and sons who become caregivers for their parents. I used to … [Read more...]
words for Wednesday on Thursday- loss
"When someone you love dies, and you're not expecting it, you don't lose her all at once; you lose her in pieces over a long time-the way the mail stops coming, and her scent fades from the pillows and even the clothes in her closet and drawers. Gradually, you accumulate the parts of her … [Read more...]
Where There’s (Not) a Will
We don't have a will.There, I said it.Chalk it up to denial about my own mortality, fear of thinking of the horrible possibility of my and my husband's death and leaving our kids orphaned, or plain old laziness and not wanting to act like a grown-up. But my only New Year's resolution this year … [Read more...]
A Lifetime of Perspective
Eight years ago today my cousin Madeleine passed away from cancer. She was in her early 30s and a mom of two small children. It was a tragedy.At the time I was also a mom of two in my early 30s.Her death hit me like a ton of bricks. I had a good job but a long commute. I left my house in a rush … [Read more...]
The Softness of Skin
I hold her hands while sitting gingerly on the side of her bed. I'm wary of crushing her as I lean over to kiss her on both cheeks. She smells the same. Her eyes are the bluest they've ever been. We chat quietly... she'd like some decorations around the windows for Christmas. Blue and white. … [Read more...]
words for wednesday- without hurry or panic
This is Mary's chalkboard. It is in her kitchen where she starts her day and ends her day. Here she writes words and sayings and prayers to help her master her grief, breathe in and out and take time for gratitude. I loved all of these maybe especially- " I have the power and responsibility to … [Read more...]
lessons from Mary- more than just icing
I went to visit a friend last week who lost her husband to suicide. He died of suicide She tells me she says it this way, not 'he committed suicide". This is my first lesson from Mary I was anxious to see her as I had not been able to go to the funeral last April.I did not want to bump … [Read more...]