Once upon a time I had one of those out of body experiences where I was buying that first bra for my daughter-my baby, my child, the one of two loves of my life,- and I went into a lingerie store.
I stated she was 11.
I said she was 11.
I mentioned she was 11.
I more than implied that she was 11.
The salesperson rushed me breathlessly over to the red push up bras. Am I the only one who one who thinks red undies are for hookers?
And push up bras? Excuse me, the only one who needs pushing up around here is me. And it is not just this store it is everywhere-Abercrombie kids has recently been under fire for marketing a push up bikini top to 7 year olds. And the G&M asks if this is too young as though there might be two sides to the argument.
My first bra- and in those days they were called “training bras” (training for what? the big time?) – was a horrible beige DICI or nothing. Remember? All pleated and ugly with a front closure to fumble with. All those ugly pleats made us look like a sad deflated helium balloon over there in the corner long after the party is over.
I looked at her and said in my outdoor voice “SHE IS ELEVEN YEARS OLD”.
Still a blank face.
Now with a megaphone- “She is a child”
Still nothing.
I am feeling a little flushed, surrounded by the choking sexuality forced early as in from diaper to underwear that reads “juicy” or “sweet” on the little butt. And thongs for your little 8 year thumb sucker who wants no panty lines.
Finally she says ” So maybe something in a different colour?”
Saleslady takes me over to a rhinestone and tiger striped strapless hot pink and black starter bra.
I run out of the store screaming. I go home lock my two daughters in an ivory tower and throw away the key.
From time to time I let them out for day trips to the monastery.
yes “all I want for Christmas is a Brazillian” and other modern teenage tunes
not so bad you just have to get up at dawn and slay dragons all day
WORD, Alice, ohmygod…
Oh, god. A bag, I need a paper bag to breathe in.
I would suggest something like The Bay, where they sell lots of sensible underthingummies. I think those Elita bralets and soft light bras would be great starters, and Jockey makes some plain soft cotton ones that would also be a good place to start. My feeling is that when they are doing all their own laundry and buying their own clothes and I never have to see what they wear under there, then they can buy what they want, but *I* am not buying my child slutty undergarments. Yeesh.
Oh my lord, I KNOW!! I don’t care to see the words “juicy” sprawled across the butt of ANYONE’s pants, thanks… and yes, red bras are for hookers… or, at least for people over the age of, say, 25. Leopard and rhinestones? Uchhhh.
I once went to the aestheticians, and overheard a lady there with her daughter, saying, “… well, it’s her boyfriend’s birthday…” I think the child was about 13 or so. MAYBE. The world is going to HELL, I tell you!!
do you know how many people come up to me and say, “you’re sooo lucky! you have two girls!” (ages 8 and 5)
i am going to send them a link to your post. how lucky will i be in a few years?!? dreading it with a capital DREAD!!!
yes- that is exactly where I ended up- the half undershirt- excellent choice.
Thank you for sharing this important piece!
Hi Nancy,
I just went to a store last week for my 11-year old, buying her a bra, so I can relate to all that you DON’T want your girl to be wearing. My recommendation: WalMart, Fruit of the Loom, it’s soft plain cotton, and all they need! I avoid the lingerie stores for girls’ clothing, as all they want to do is train the girls to buy their stuff as they grow and become women. And it is overly sexualized at such an early age, which is completely inappropriate! It’s a blatant example of our society’s emphasis on appearance and sexuality rather than a girl (or boy)’s inner strengths and talents. I also have talks with my kids about why we don’t go to “those” stores, and the choices we’re making, and about how society uses sex to sell all sorts of things. I don’t want to appear self-righteous here, but I just want to share my story of battling the mainstream message of sexuality, and of the importance of making good choices ourselves, and for our kids, so they grow up loving themselves for who they are, not what they look like, or whether they please the future males in their life based on a narrow definition of beauty. Good luck, parents everywhere!