True Confessions time – thank God Mr. Husband never reads this –
I have been known, in my impetuous youth to engage in some major PDA.
Necking on the Dance floor? Check
Necking while dancing on a table? Check
Neck at a York U track meet? Check
Necking through an entire concert at Maple Leaf Gardens? Check
Necking at the Jolly Miller and the Brunswick House? Check and Check
It seems like most of my PDA hotspots have since disappeared, but an occasional desire for the old abandonment hasn’t. Fortunately, Mr. Husband, who is a pretty good DA guy, is not much of a PDA guy so I tend to keep my tonsils behind closed doors these days.
But I find myself surrounded by a group who don’t. These gropers have never heard of the Brunswick House, may have vague memories of Maple Leaf Gardens and think that Jolly is a nickname for the Miller Restaurant. They range in age from 14 to 18. I teach them and I live with them and I’m not entirely comfortable sharing with them the comfort level they seem to have with each other’s bodies.
At school I can remind the boys where they are and that their behaviour is not so appropriate. They get it, although the girl may slide me the cut eye later. At home it’s a bit different. I’m not sure what to say. Part of me admires the confidence they have to hold hands and rub each other’s backs in front of the adults. I don’t want them to not feel comfortable at our home, so I don’t say anything, but I’m not entirely comfortable.
The thing is, it doesn’t happen all the time and they are not up too anything too risque, in front of us any way, so I keep wondering if this is just my hang up or if it is OK to say, "hey, I’m not OK with this."
Any advice?
I think I’d do a lot of loud “ahems” or coughing and even gagging if I needed to, around the little lovebirds. Maybe I’ll even win an Oscar for my performance.
ahhh! sorry, i have no advice on this one! i grew up in a conservative Indian household and can’t imagine ever even holding hands in front of my dad – even now that i’m married with 2.5 kids! but, i do remember the brunswick house from my carefree law school days living in the Annex!
I cannot even think about it! YUCK!!! Lucky mine are only 2 & 4 so I still have time…I really have no idea what I’ll do?! I am not that comfortable with PDA myself so I assume I will be making comments or leaving the room.
I can totally identify with this issue – over our Spring Break last week, my eldest son (16) had his girlfriend over for supper and movies. I am fine with the hand holding during the movie, but I purposely made a noisy descent to the basement where they were watching tv so I didn’t see anything I may be uncomfortable with (which is pretty much anything beyond hand holding). My husband and I think it is good for our kids to see us hugging/kissing from time to time so they know how we feel about each other. Our kids know we won’t hesitate to embarass them if we catch them doing it 🙂 Like Jen, I think making a joke out of it is best – it gets the message across without making things adversarial. I like to think we have modelled and taught good judgment, but this is scary territory for me. AACK!
Oh my. I can’t help you on this one and just KNOW that I will be totally incapable of dealing with this when it is my kids and their pals. I’m thinking if it is not too over the top then just keep it to yourself. Or maybe make a joke out of it like “keep the groping to a minimum when the old folks are around”. However, this might just encourage them to do it more or to do more when you are not there! ACK!
GAK! I’m not looking forward to that myself. I’ve never been comfortable with too much PDA. Holding hands WHILE WALKING, a friendly peck or hug as a greeting, all fine with me. But I have always been uncomfortable with the sitting on his lap, or at his feet while he runs his fingers through her hair WITH OTHER PEOPLE THERE ACTING AS IF IT IS PERFECTLY NORMAL AND ACCEPTABLE. I just think, hey, the rest of us are here. We get that you love and/or lust for each other. But we feel unwelcome when you do that, like you’d rather be alone. So please, take it outside.
What will I do? I’ll let them know it’s fine for a walk in the park but not at the dinner table or in the family room when everyone else is around. It’s impolite, for cryin’ out loud!