I don’t know what’s gotten into me since we got home from Calgary. I’m exhausted – like unusually tired and groggy. Up until today, I haven’t been able to motivate myself to do ANYTHING. And it’s driving me nuts. Today was a little better: I actually unpacked our suitcases, opened some mail and cooked a real dinner. BUT, I still haven’t cleaned out our full voice mailbox (scary and overwhelming), washed my hair (tiring and cold), or paid the bills for January. Everything just feels like too much right now.
Should I chalk this feeling of inertia up to being pregnant or is it something else? Aren’t I supposed to be nesting? I finished work on December 19th, in the anticipating of the million things I hope to accomplish at home and with my family before this baby arrives. So, I should have felt relieved when I woke up on Monday morning with no work, right? Boy, was I surprised when I woke up with a feeling of loss. With work, there was alwasy a minimum of 10 new emails in my inbox; now, a measly 2 new messages, both spam. Am I suddently so irrelevant to the world? So, I sent out a few mails hoping to initiate responses and communication with the outside world. It worked and my mood perked up when I got some cheery messages from colleagues and friends.
I’ve got to get motivated and attack the tasks at hand. A few positive rays of light have emerged from this state of inertia and the writer’s strike (good for me in all ways except that the Golden Globes are cancelled – I love the Golden Globes).
I’m not only reading more – I’m almost finished Kiran Desai’s Booker Prize-winning Inheritance of Loss, which has been on my bedside table for year – but I’ve rediscovered the Food Network (which has new shows by the way! Reality tv is outside the scope of the strike).
Last night, I gleefully watched the new Nigella Express and Jamie at Home shows. Though my lifestyle corresponds more to Nigella’s show (busy mom, two kids blah blah blah), I can’t help but salivate over Jamie Oliver’s cooking style, magnificent attention to detail and use of spices. On Sunday’s episode, he took pumpkins and squash (click on this to discover my fave Jamie squash recipe) to a cosmic level.
Here’s a pic of Jamie on his farm where he not only GROWS ALL HIS OWN FRESH PRODUCE, but cooks delicious food. I need to harness some of that motivation!
And here’s one from Nigella’s new show, where she sensuously and bustily whips up gourmet meals in minutes…does she really eat all that pasta?
Thanks for listening to my rant. Hopefully, my next post will feature a super-motivated me with impressive January to-do lists.