a) a cheap slut
c) a nut puncher
d) a sex addict
g) infected with/spreading STIs
h) a liar
i) a gift taker
j) a re-gifter
k) a brunette…no wait, a redhead
l) a bad mother
m) a coward
n) a cheater
Now that all of that is out of the way I am hoping we can move on. As Annabelle commented, “Don’t like the show? Change the channel.” Call me what you will, I am here to tell my story and I am hoping to show people that, although in no way perfect (what is that anyway?), my choices have shaped my life. Maybe it will help you reflect on yours? In my opinion, this blog is less about infidelity and more about living authentically. I hope at least some of you will see that.
What surprised me about the anger in the comments is not that it happened, but that it happened so soon and so vehemently. I didn’t even get a chance to tell you anything before the name calling, assumptions and mud slinging began. I find it amazing that anyone would spend time hating when that energy could be used for something productive. I encourage you to take that time and energy and put it toward something you really love, something positive, and let those of us who are here to learn from each other do so.
I know my life isn’t for everyone. I understand it is not conventional. This blog is not about convincing you to do what I do but about giving you some insight into why. What we see about infidelity on TV and in movies or read about in books and on blogs (thank you Lyla), is fantastical. Maybe this is real for some people but that is probably as far from my story as it is from the lives of the people in the comments.
I am hoping to actually tackle my story in my upcoming posts but in the meantime I think it is important to set a few things straight. My marriage has evolved over time, as have most I believe. After some tough times (which I will get into in future posts) my husband and I are in a very good place. We love each other and respect each other very much. And, although he may not be aware of specifics, he is aware that I have had and may again have (or not) relationships with other men. And I am aware that he may choose to do the same with other women.
But, and this is where many people get up in arms and can’t wrap their heads around it, we want to stay together. We are not looking for another life-partner or to get out of our marriage. We are happy together.
I will leave it there for now. Barring anything in the comments that I feel the need to address I will delve into our unique relationship, how it came to be and why it works in my next posts.
And thanks to those readers who welcomed me and seemed open to this conversation.