backfilling your life

I have written about, thought about  and worked on backfilling my life quite a bit over the last year.

As one area of your life is shrinking, you must swell a new area.

Something is running out the front door, new things have to come in the back door.

My children are slowly leaving home and while they have been all my life and all my love, they are doing what I want them to do and  what they are supposed to do.

And I am so thrilled about it. Mainly. *sobs*

I drove them to camp today and as I said goodbye and drove off . It began to rain as it always does. Pathetic fallacy, Will Shakespeare?

I cranked the music and Joni Mitchell was singing “I’ve looked at life from both sides now” and in that way that  there seems to be someone always teasing me with the playlist to my life, I listened to the lyrics.

I’ve looked at love from both sides now
From give and take, and still somehow
It’s love’s illusions I recall
I really don’t know love at all

Tears and fears and feeling proud
To say “I love you” right out loud
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds
I’ve looked at life that way

And the rain stopped suddenly and the sun came out from behind the clouds in that big sky way,  as I reach the top of  a big hill.

I’ve looked at clouds from both sides now
From up and down, and still somehow
It’s cloud illusions I recall
I really don’t know clouds at all 

Seriously. Who is setting the music to this scenery?

I thought about everything I am doing over the next several weeks and the next several hours that is exciting and new and fun. There are a million ways we can backfill when a new stage is upon us.

Something for them. Something for me.

This is the best way to welcome change.