My father died this week after a long battle with dementia.
It is many things I am coming to understand; painful, surreal, a blessing, darkness, light, a terrible sadness, a relief.
When I understood he was gone, I felt a feeling I had never felt before. I felt my shoulders go up and down. The world got fuzzy. I heard myself crying hard but as though it was coming from someone sitting beside me.
And then I got protective. I wanted to be strong for my whole family. I wanted to protect them.
I wanted everyone around me but two were missing. I knew I needed to tell my oldest immediately but as life would have it the day he died she had just texted me to say Momma, I am having one of the best days of my life
Some good things she was working towards had come together and she is so happy this year. She is also in the middle of exams.
I needed to tell her. Over the phone. She is the grandchild to have known my dad the longest. He has played a big role in her life.
When she was two she gave him his nickname, BOSS, which pretty much replaced any other name he had
She was very upset. Very. Do you want to come home? Could I come to you? She said no.
So I did what we do. I emailed 3 very close friends, letting them all know of our loss, whose daughters are all her really close friends to ask their girls to show a little tenderness towards her.
All called her.
Two came over to hers and made her dinner.
The third broke into her house while she was at class and left this on her bed. It was not a little tenderness.
It was an abundance of tenderness.
And I am so thankful for all of it.
Richard T says
Such a sad and happy story in one – a bit like your blogs. You have enveloped your family in love and tenderness and it is great to see that has extended to their friends.
Idas Levato says
thank goodness for kind loving people. May your lives always overflow with them.
You certainly are proof one can be a magnet for it. Sometimes all we can do is just breathe. much love, i
nancy macdonald says
Thank you, Id. xo
nancy macdonald says
Thank you all. The love and support has meant a great deal xo
Johanne Papillon says
Nancy, my sincere condolences to you and your family for the loss of your father. You are all in my thoughts and prayers. Love xoxox
Nancy, I am sending my love and tenderness your way and also to Judy. Please hold her tight and tell her that I love her! love, Connie Black
what a great bunch there. i’m sorry about your dad…
Sonya D says
Big Hugs to you Nancy. :*(
I am so glad Charlotte experienced that love from her friends – it is like a wonderful blanket wrapped close. I was sorry not to be able to give that to Stewart last year when he had to go through this alone.
Know that you are surrounded by lots of blankets. xo. I’ll see you soon. xo
Sara Lanthier says
Thinking of you Nancy. You are so wonderful to so many, I hope you’ll allow that from us in return. x
Grumble Girl says
Feeling sadness for you, my friend… I know you have good people around you to help shoulder the blow, and I’m so glad your daughter has good people in her life too… I send you love. xoxoxox
Nancy, I am so sorry for your loss. It comes as absolutely no surprise to me that you (and your daughter) would have a tight mesh of protective and loving friends because I know you reap what you sow. I am so glad you’ve got that support as you grieve your father’s passing.