I’m about to do something I never thought I’d be able to do. It’s been a dream of mine for 15 years, but once I had kids, once I got divorced, I assumed I’d have to let go of my dream. It was expensive, impractical, not possible for whatever reason. It had become more of a fantasy.
Until all the stars aligned and my fantasy became a reality once again. In less than two weeks, I’m going to Halifax for two weeks to begin my Masters of Fine Arts in Creative Nonfiction Writing. I know it’s a mouthful, but it’s actually a two-year masters program where I will work with a mentor on writing a book proposal and book manuscript, which will hopefully one day be published. Most of it is done from home, but I do have to spend two weeks this summer and next on the other side of the country for an intensive writing boot camp.
I’m scared to be taking on such a big endeavour when I already have a lot on my plate. I’m scared to live in a university dorm, meet new people and have my writing critiqued by professional book authors. Most of all, I’m scared to leave my kids for two weeks. They are already crying and begging me not to go.
“Please Mama don’t leave us. I will miss you too much,” my little one cried to me during our nightly cuddle time. He hugged my neck so tightly. He physically wouldn’t let me leave.
“Boys, I’m going to be nervous, too, but I’m also excited. This is my dream to get my Masters and write a book. I’m proud of myself and I want you to be proud of me, too.”
All of a sudden my other son started to cry. “Mama! I’m scared for you. You’re going to be nervous and living by yourself in a hotel for two weeks!” He buried his face in his superhero pillow.
I didn’t have the heart to tell him that it’s not a hotel—it’s a dorm with a shared washroom. (The horror!) Instead, I had to backtrack: “I am nervous, but mostly excited. Mommy is going to get to write a book. I worked really hard and now I’m getting to do something I always wanted to do. We will talk every day and I will try to come home on the weekend, even if it’s just for 24 hours.”
They cried some more. I figured I had to find a way to get them on my page “It’s like if you became a professional baseball player and had to go on a road trip with your team.” Their ears perked up; I’d hooked them. “I would miss you but I would be happy for you because you are getting to live your dream.”
This they finally understood. “And when I get home we are getting the dog and I will get you a Kinder Surprise Egg.”
Sign, sealed and delivered. There’s nothing a Kinder Egg can’t fix! They finally settled enough to go to bed. My journey begins in less than two weeks. I’m scared, but I’m doing it.