I have been working for the same organization for the last ten years, so I haven’t spent a lot of time creating resumes. I wondered aloud about what I would put on my mommy resume to showcase the many skills I have acquired when I’m not trapped in a cubicle.
Excellent stakeholder engagement
Engages in meaningful consultation on matters not based in law and policy. For example, blue versus green pyjamas and flavour of tooth paste. Client feedback includes “amazing” and “my mommy is better than your mommy.” Maintains positive relationships with advocacy focused agencies like indulgent grandparents without compromising the privacy of the party they represent.
Creative problem solving
Invents exclusive special events to mitigate lack of progress in laundry like “crazy sock day”. Able to deliver school projects in support of events such as ‘100th Day of School’ with little to no notice. When particularly fancy, employs cookie cutters to make sandwiches more elegant, in the spirit of making use of hours and hours spent on Pinterest.
Able to convince a disgruntled child that a sandwich cut with a cookie cutter to make it appear more elegant tastes identical to one that has not been so altered. Describes product line including but not limited to broccoli, brussell sprouts and green beans in language that generates excitement. Effectively relays details of customer loyalty programs based on stars of varying colours to improve overall compliance with initiatives like potty training and chores. Integrated the feedback of more experienced colleagues while convincing a particularly difficult customer that curry is “gravy for your rice.”
Effectively assigns age appropriate tasks to ensure the overall mission of a safe, sanitary working environment is achieved with equitable distribution of labour.
Tact and diplomacy
Provides constructive feedback on the quality of work performed by subordinates. Consults other professionals in the field via social media for their solutions to common problems. Does not internalize judgmental feedback that calls into questions personal attributes like intelligence and suitability to raise a child, using the block button judiciously with a view to ensuring future harmonious play dates.
Kisses booboos, gingerly applies bandages featuring licensed characters and provides post-nightmare debriefings. Listens intently to descriptions of mythical creatures under the bed and closet and provides expert advice on vanquishing them. Holds hands during vaccinations, while explaining in plain language why they are necessary.
Overall, my job satisfaction as a mom is incredibly high. I have the benefit of learning from experienced mentors. I can see the products of my efforts reflected in the eyes of my precious little boy. I have a pleasant working environment and I am recognized in a timely way for the work that I do, except for the heart shaped sandwiches that make jam taste yucky.
You’re hired! 😀
The thought of having to go back to paid employment terrifies me right now, Alison. I’ve no clue how to reconstruct my resume. Let me bookmark this now for future reference! Tact and Diplomacy are especially true and mostly used during homework time in this household.
Ugh homework. So torturous. For everyone.
Pattie Thomas says
Excellent! When can you start working? Haha I would hire you for any job based on this well rounded resume!
Awww thanks 🙂
Love this!! Mad skills with the last minute school projects…”like a boss.”
I’ve got nothing on my stepdad who built igloos of sugar cubes and castles out of styrofoam. But he did make 100 happy days with 100 makeup pads.
Jill Palcanis Pond says
Um, I’m thinking that you could be CEO of Apple or something! Kissing boo-boos is a skill of mine as well, and let me tell you, it has taken me far up the corporate ladder, as I’m sure it will you. Well done!
I would love to work for Apple, particularly if I get an iPhone 6.You are the sweetest 🙂
Melissa @One Mother to Another says
This is hilarious Alison (and even funnier because it’s all so true.) You rock my (crazy, mismatched) socks.
I tend to go barefoot wherever possible! You rock too!
Janine Huldie says
Love this and definitely sums up what being a mom is all about on any given day! 😉
Glad you could relate!