Last night my grade one daughter came home with a little book in her school agenda, along with the instructions: “read with me”. Intrigued, I asked her to read. Thrilled, I sat beside her as she read every word:
I am here.
I like to play.
I like to play here.
And so on. I was so, so proud.
She read me the story again. Then she read for her big sister, and then her Dad. She reveled in their praise! At bedtime, I read her the book she’d signed out of the school library, and then she read me her book again.
And for a moment, a split-second, the words formed in my mind:
We should call Gramma.
Because, well, she would have loved to hear that; would have so loved to hear her grand-daughter reading her first story.
And it reminded me of a trailer I saw last weekend at the movie theatre. It was for this movie: Everybody’s Fine, starring Robert DeNiro as a widower who decides to go and visit his kids after they all bail on their annual Holiday visit to him.
Specifically, it reminded me of Drew Barrymore’s line: “sometimes I pick up the phone to dial her number…and then I remember.” (Which, incidentally, set me to sobbing uncontrollably in the theatre).
Because it’s so true! Obviously, I still have those moments. Moments where I think, “Mom would love to hear that,” or “what would Mom think?”, or even just, “gee, I want to talk to Mom”. They have started to spread out, but they haven’t gone away yet, these amnesiac moments where I believe that my Mom is still alive. It’s a brief, exciting joyful moment followed by the crashing drop Drew’s character captures so well: “…and then I remember”.
And at this point I know two things for sure:
- I miss my Mom as much as ever.
- I need to see Everybody’s Fine when it comes out.