How old were you when you had your first baby? I was 30.
Back in the day that would have been considered old, but in todays standards it’s really young.
When I was off on mat leave with L’il E I met a great group of women who became my mummy friends. We talked about our first-time babies and the trials and tribulations, but we never talked age. It just never came up. Since then I’ve learned that many (actually almost all) of those women are four or five years older than me. I mentioned this to the Hubs the other day and he quickly replied, “That’s because we had kids too young!”
Huh?!
My neurotic mind began to race processing this very quick comment. Is that true? Did we have kids too young? Should we have waited? Well clearly the Hubs thinks so, but I disagree.
Sure it sucks because we haven’t had the same experiences as the older cohort of new parents have had, but I still think I had enough of a life before I turned 30. I did a bit of travelling, definitely partied hard, made a dent in my career, and had several kid-free married/dating years. I was practically a baby when I met the Hubs – 23 years old – I hadn’t even landed my first job, so by age 30 I was 7 years in to a long term relationship and ready to put down some roots. The Hubs (two years my senior) said he was too, but maybe the chaos of a toddler and an infant is clouding his memory.
Regardless, I have no regrets. I figure we can experience the other stuff later when we are a little more established and hopefully have more moolah. Plus once the boys grow up and out the Hubs and I will still be relatively young and will be able to get back out on the scene. Right?!
What are your thoughts? I just needed to put my mind at ease.
I was 25 when I married my husband, also waited before doing the family thing because I wanted to enjoy my marriage and get some stability (and fun/travel) in our lives first. I was 29 with my first child and 34 with my second because I was just not ready to have baby #2 so quickly…They are 5 1/2 years apart and I’m glad I waited, and I’m def enjoying the second one more and not as paranoid as I was with the first.
I was 35 with our first one and now we are expecting our second a month short before our first one turns 2. And my chart shows that I am AMA(advanced maternal age!)
I was 40 with my first – and old. I have friends who have kids going into university and my kid is starting SK. But I lived a full life and have no regrets – except for how effing TIRED I AM!
It is a personal choice and one you hope ‘occurs’ to you when you are ready to give give and give some more. For me that time was in my 30s (32 and 34). Motherhood is the very best thing that ever happened to me and I was in the right frame of mind then.
I know people from both ends of the spectrum – I was 31 when I had my first, and I know people who were at least 5 years older. I also know a number of women who had their children in their early 20s. I don’t think there’s a ‘right’ age to have babies, just like there’s not a ‘right’ amount of time to space in between them. It just happens when it happens.
I live in a small town where all the mommas marry young and have 4 kids before they turn 30, so I think it’s all perspective. So much of it depends on when you meet the person you want to start a family with, I believe. I was 19 when we got married (I know!) and we had our first baby at 24. I am glad we had time to really put down roots for our marriage first since having kids is the hardest thing we have had to do!
i have friends who had kids when they were young and foolish (as opposed to me, old and foolish!). we’re the same age and his kids are in university and i still need a babysitter! it is what it is and you just can’t compare. when they happen, you’re ready 🙂