Unless you live under a rock, you’ve no doubt by now heard about the hate filled, horrific letter that was sent to the family of a boy with autism in the Oshawa area. I haven’t commented on any of the links that I have seen posted throughout my newsfeed. I just can’t even imagine that someone actually wrote this because it was actually how they felt.
My mind will only allow me to think that the person who penned this is nothing other than a bored teenager with zero sense of judgement, compassion or empathy.
The words that were used throughout the letter were searing. Retarded. Nuisance. Hindrance. Wild animal. Euthanize.
I really cannot imagine a grown adult thinking such thoughts. Much less a mother. I honestly thought it was a bad hoax the first time I saw it.
Then I saw the news report.
I saw Max, the boy with autism – stimming the exact same stims as my son.
Bouncing a ball the exact same way as my son.
Vocalizing the exact same way as my son.
I also saw the people in his community surrounding the family with love and support. Just like my son’s community.
The similarities are incredible.
I can only imagine that the similarities don’t end there. Cuyler spends the majority of his time at home out front bouncing a ball. Skipping. Jumping. Stimming. I think he likes being out there because it affords him time with people.
Anybody who knows my son knows that he is so much more than a little boy with autism who skips around flapping his hands and bouncing a ball.
They know that Cuyler likes to greet them with an enthusiastic “HI <insert name>!” as they get out of their car or “Where are you going?” as they get into their car.
They know that Cuyler will never forget when their birthday is.
They know that Cuyler loves to perform.
That he is a great magician and joke teller.
That, for a kid with a social disorder, he loves nothing more than to chat with anyone willing.
He loves to joke around and be silly.
He wants so badly to do what everybody else does.
He wants to be accepted and I can’t even articulate how grateful I am for the village that surrounds him and makes that possible. The person who took the time out of their day to write that vile letter has likely done a very good thing for Max. He is now surrounded with a community cloak that will protect him from people like that.
So I will end with this:
To our neighbours, I thank you.
You may not know it, but you are a piece of our puzzle.
I thank you for treating my child with respect. I thank you for teaching your children compassion. I thank you for never judging us (or Cuyler) when many others would. I thank you for asking questions and educating yourselves.
I thank you for your support on this journey that we are on.
To Christine- Thank-you for being Cuyler’s mom and teaching us all so much. xo
I am heartfelt at the response this family has received from the GTA family and our Durham family. Some of you have seen that my wife and I have posted that we will gladly waive our fee to sell this hateful persons home once they are found ( I do hope the coward takes our offer ). We live down the road in Durham and cannot believe that this loving family was treated like this. Our children need a safe and loving environment to grow up in, and if we can get rid of the negativity for these people we would be happy to. You are now part of The Adams Family and we take care of our family.
Am now all sniffly because that is one of the things that I hope becomes the takeaway from this – how that person is an anomaly, not the norm. I also really hope that they can find the author of that and mandate some teaching and some spending time with children with special needs so they can grow in understanding and stop being scared and ignorant, as they must be to display that level of hatred to the presence and noise of what is, in the end, a human, and a mere child at that.
Amazing Christine. Never even thought of the thank you letter response and the positive that would or could come out of this letter. Thank you for making me see it differently and not getting me lost in my rage for a minute longer.
You are Amazing Just the way you are…….
I nearly cried when I read that horrible letter that was sent but reading what you have shared about your family was very heartwarming. All children are gifts and deserve all the love in the world :). Much love and respect 🙂
Erin a first time mom to be 🙂
Oh Christine. I wept reading this. I loved to hear about all of the wonderful things Cuyler brings to his community. Knowing Cuyler offers so many amazing things to the people around him. Thank you!
I agree! We have a wonderful support group and neighbourhood for our kiddo. Her preschool group was wonderful. Every kid fought to be her play mate each day. Great post!