Things have been tough recently. Most of you know this. Yet in the middle of all of this there are some beautiful things. Like my friend Karen dropping over dinner and wine or Katie sitting with me while I cried or my kids’ teachers and school principal offering support or a fellow hockey mom, Daphne – who I barely know – dropping over a bag full of food. These gestures are perfect little gifts that I hold on to. They prevent me from completely getting lost in all of this.
Recently I found support where I least expected it – on Facebook. I have a lot of friends on Facebook who I "know" through networking. I have met some amazing women who run their own businesses but I don’t really know them personally. But online communities make some of your personal life public. So as my Facebook updates and blog posts provide a window into my life I found support from a fellow Facebooker, Anne. I met Anne because she runs the website www.mississaugakids.com. The first message I got from Anne went like this:
I’ve been lurking on you website and been unable to comment. It is all
just too close to home for me. I risk too much bubbling up to the
Just try to be like Dory in Finding Nemo…Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming! Cherish each wonderful terrible moment.
Hoping all turns out well.
You gotta love a woman who quotes Dory! This was perfect. Exactly what I needed. Then today I got this in response to my "Jennifer is tired. So tired." update on Facebook:
I know your tired…
I remember this so vividly.
Every part of my body and mind ached. I especially remember my jaw. It was constantly clenched. I would try to yawn and wiggle it to stretch it to try to loosen the muscles in my face but it would just be all locked up again in minutes.
I could not even attend a yoga class since I just could not begin to think about making my mind still. The more I tried to the more it would race. I just had to keep busy with "stuff" to keep going.
I remember trying to sleep but tossing and turning instead. When I finally drifted off the sleep provided very little rest. I must have been struggling even then with it all. I would wake up and feel like I had been crying for hours. My jaw and fists would be clenched. My body ached like it had been in a fight.
Then, with no real rest, we continue to press on through our day. Life goes on around us. How is that possible that our world is turned upside down but the garbage still needs to be taken to the curb and the parent council is still meeting Tuesday night?
You are so wonderfully blessed to be able to be with your mom. My parents do not live near, so it was especially tough. Cherish these moments.
I’m attaching a photo of my mom and I on the beach. This was the last day we were able to go to the beach together.
I’ve never actually told anybody this before but I’m crying in this photo despite the smile. Dark glasses hide the real emotion. Sometimes burying it is what you do to get through each terrible wonderful moment.
Anne and her mom, Karen.
Thanks to Anne and to all my friends, both virtual and real-life.