When your marriage falls apart, the wide crevasse you fall into can be difficult to climb out of.
The marriage held you together in a way that society smiles on and supports even if it was not a good one. Suddenly you are thrust into the great unknown without a map or a plan. Many, if not all, of your dreams are flattened
It is ground zero.
The damage includes losing at least part of his half of the church as they ‘walk out’ as you do, and losing your status as a couple (this may sound trite, but many in your circle like you as a unit and are comforted that you are one). How you look as a family is shaken as well. Like a table with three legs, it feels unsteady and like something integral to its success is missing.
The rebuilding takes inordinate energy at a time when emotionally you have none. You must ask for help, you must enlist good soldiers, you must not look at the whole devastating mess for too long but rather chip away at what needs to be done one step at a time.
Then one day you wake up and you are no longer cleaning up the mess of what was, you are living in what is and you are standing at the top of a mountain looking down amazed at your own power and will.
Just over your shoulder is another mountain, the future. It is higher and steeper but is easier because of what you have overcome.