I ran into someone the other day that I hadn’t seen for awhile. In fact the last time I saw them was just before the twins were born.
“Wow.” She said. “You would never know that you have eight kids! You look great!”
I mumbled a shallow “Thanks.” But I was suspicious. Did she really mean my ass isn’t as big as it was when I was pregnant with the twins, or that my ass is actually mushy, fat and sagging but just not as much as she thought it would be?
No matter what she really meant I wasn’t buying any of it. I think after the fifth child I stopped looking in the mirror. I realized my skin is wrinkly, the bags under my eyes are here to stay, my boobs are sure to reach the floor at any given moment due to all the ravishing beasts baby’s that have sucked them dry, and even though I may feel twenty, being a mother to eight children has aged me in ways I never thought possible!
I remember a while back going to a bar with an old friend and the hubby. I think at that time we only had four children, and I still felt young and vibrant. That is until we entered the bar and I looked around. I felt as though I had just jumped into the pages of a “Barley Legal” magazine – given the fact that the young ladies there had barely any clothes on and were dancing in ways that I would classify as grinding! Was I really that old? Did I ever look that young? Sure but that was BTMC (Before the monkeys came).
I guess being a former (and I stress former) National gymnast seems pretty cool to my kids especially when they can brag to their friends how I can still do a cartwheel and stuff (the stuff being what I can only still do in my head) well it’s cool until I actually do some cartwheels to show off to said friends only to wake up the next morning with a totally fu@#ed up hip. Then I realize I have no damn business doing cartwheels anymore and wonder if the doctor will prescribe me some oxycotin – probably not. Geez the things we do for our kids!
No doubt about it children make you old – physically old well at least mine do, and the stamina of my children never ceases to amaze me. I can’t even look at my elliptical without becoming exhausted, so this might be my first clue in why my ass is a mushy fat pile of flub. But children are smarter than we think. My kiddies can run around the park kicking a soccer ball for hours and my five year old with legs as short as they are can run away from me with lightening speed – yet ask them to take out the garbage or fold some laundry and suddenly they are tired. Go figure.
Yet aside from the sagging breasts, wrinkly skin, and a mushy fat ass, nothing is more irritating than going to a restaurant with eight kiddies only to be greeted by a perky waitress, with even perkier breasts, short shorts, clear skin and a way to cheery voice who turns and says to you “Wow are these all your kids? You look great for having so many!” What a bitch because you know what she is really thinking….
So what is your rant for the day and what body part has been affected most since having children?
Until next time,
Chantel,momof8crazymonkeys
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Tracey says
Aw, bella – I don’t think she would have said that if she didn’t really think it…
Here’s an interesting site – too bad it’s not been kept current, but it’s a “love” site. http://thebellyproject.wordpress.com/
Alas, gravity comes for us all, sooner or later. (I’d just as soon have it be “later” though. Le sigh.)
Alice says
It’s a toss-up for me between the belly pooch and the breasts, but both are down to the loss of elasticity in the skin from being stretched beyond recognition. UGH.
Meanwhile, I’ve been working hard at shedding some of the butt and the belly, but with it have gone some of the breasts! Sigh. No winning.
gillian says
It’s the cycle of life Chantel ….lol … that waitress will have her day (of course we’ll be in diapers by then). I think the wrinkly tummy pouch is the worst btw.
I just took part in an “I Matter” photo shoot for a campaign to end violence against women and youth around the world (Marsha Meidow Foundation – it’s on FB) and a bunch of us Mom’s bared our battle-scar ridden post baby bellies, wrote “I Matter” across them and smiled for the camera – EMPOWERING!!
We earned every stretch mark, wrinkle and cell of fat bringing our amazing children into and up in this crazy world!!
Love ya!