I am 98% certain my two year-old is trying to kill me.
Of all the aspects of life with three kids, dealing with the challenges she’s been tossing my way is by far the most difficult.
This week she got into a tub of Sudocrem diaper cream and smeared it on every extremity.
Then while my back was turned for 4.7 seconds, she found a bottle of scarlet nail polish, opened it up and painted her hands with it, then proceeded to rub it IN HER EYEBALL. Cue my frantic screaming, a husband running upstairs with an emergency eye wash kit, and 10 minutes of her howling as he rinsed her socket out.
Then she randomly got a Barf Attack virus that struck at midnight the other night, she’s working on her molars and is even crankier than usual, and she’s been sneaking out of her bunk bed a half-dozen times a night then wailing like a tortured banshee when we put her back to bed. Last night we’d finally had enough of her getting out of bed that we put her back in her old crib and she cried, nay, rabidly howled and frothed at the mouth in rage, for an hour. She finally fell asleep and woke up hoarse and angry. Kind of like me.
The newborn has been the lowest maintenance member of this family! All she needs is milk and some snuggles, the occasional diaper change, and did I mention the milk?
Two years olds are at such a hard age, I know. They are irrational, easily frustrated, and kind of not too keen on learning how to be a decent human being. It feels like my days are on an endless cycle of time-outs, spankings, lather, rinse, repeat. Karenna is like a wild stallion and I’m realizing we need to break her renegade spirit just a little before she breaks US. But the effort that that will require is a little overwhelming when I stop to think of it amidst the round-the-clock feedings, sleep deprivation, and daily stress of life with three dependents clinging to me all day long.
I know we’ll get through this. And it’s good I’m writing all this down now since I’m sure I’ll look back and heartily laugh at all the mayhem we endured in these wild years. Right?