I have always preferred being a man over the idea of being a woman. Menses, make-up and shaving are just some of the reasons I am happy to have been blessed with the hot dog and not the bun.
By extension, I also think being the Dad is the stuff that dreams are made of…
Blasphemy, you say? Hogwash, you cry? Fine, here’s the proof:
10) In the Beginning
Becoming a Dad is the direct result of having an orgasm. Can Moms say the same?
A Mom who brags is, well, a Mom. A Dad who brags is a loving, caring, involved parent and people say “Gee, Shawn, it’s great that you care so much.” As if there was any other way for me to behave.
8) Nipple Tear
As I learned from one of the other UrbanMoms, there are some kids who suck so hard when breast-feeding that the Mom’s nipple becomes partially detached from the breast, requiring surgical and potentially cosmetic repair.
Now, unless I am attacked by a rabid bear who is intent on eating me chest first but who gives up after the first bite, the likelihood of me suffering from a “nipple tear” is relatively minor.
7) Wheel’s Appeal
Moms – have you ever had a potential suitor drop their phone number in your pocket while you’re out for a walk with your kid in the stroller? Well, me neither. But it’s bound to happen sooner or later, because there’s nothing hotter than a grown man pushing a stroller. It’s true. I googled it.
6) Upward Mobility
I suspect the fact that I am a Dad has and will benefit my career mobility. Being seen as a family man isn’t a bad thing, now is it?
Moms on the other hand face an uphill battle from the minute they declare their egg is being occupied by sperm. Moms are saddled with the unfair burden of parenthood, whether real, perceived or self-imposed, and I know far too many Moms who have felt the pressure to set their careers aside for the sake of having a family. Or, even worse, that they have had to choose between one or the other.
While I don’t think this is fair in any way, shape or form, it is nevertheless an advantage to being a Dad.
5) Phonics Don’t Lie
When a kid says “Daddy!” it is SO MUCH CUTER than when a kid says “Mommy!” It’s a scientific fact. (I have no facts to back this up.)
4) He’s Got the Look
I get to be the proud owner and displayer of “The Dad Look”… you know the look… the one that halts kids in their tracks and generates instant cessation of any ill-advised behaviour. My own Dad Look is still in development. I expect it to be complete in 6-8 months and it will be glorious! I am, after all, working with my own father to refine it to perfection.
3) The Air Up There
Piggy backs and horsey rides are 100X better when they are administered by the taller of the two parents. Generally speaking, this is the Dad (an actual scientific fact).
2) The Back of the Bus
It’s always better sitting at the back of the bus, a.k.a. Dad’s don’t have to give birth. Need I say more?
1) Wee Advantage
A Dad will never have to pee on a stick whilst groggy from sleep and feeling nauseous for reasons that can’t quite be explained… for 10 minutes, anyway.
Ok, before you start your revolution, remember this: my job here at UrbanMoms is to enlighten you to the Dad’s side of the fence. I’m sure you all have reasons as to why it is better to be the Mom… so let’s hear them! I can definitely be convinced to carry our second child.*
*Medical breakthroughs permitting.