Maybe this is a good thing? Maybe he is in something of a detox?
Monday night I sat on the couch and cried, wondering how I was going to get through this.
Tuesday night, after refusing all of the food that I spent the afternoon preparing he lay on the kitchen floor kicking the freezer screaming, demanding french fries.
Before the day even began. It started.
I reached out to our naturopath for support. Called the office and when the secretary told me she could call me Monday…I lost it. Lost my temper. Lost my composure. Monday is not good enough – I need help NOW. I apologized for my outburst. She was lovely and told me she’d get back to me that day.
This week has been reminding me of when I suffered depression several years ago.
Feeling sorry for myself because I can’t get my kid to eat.
Feeling angry because it feels like everything is hard with him.
I want to enjoy him and I am not. Any interaction right now with him consists of him being angry with me and my being frustrated with him.
- never start a new protocol with him the week I have PMS
- never start a new protocol with him the week of the full moon
- when the full moon and PMS collide – nothing good happens
- I’ll save my money and make pancakes out of dirt next time instead of the little $12 bag of almond flour
- buying a three pack of easter cream eggs doesn’t solve my problems but they sure make me feel good for as long as it takes to eat
all three ofthem
- nothing is off limits as far as annoying me goes. Friends facebook status’s, my twitter feed, commercials…even that Maxwell House kid who likes everything is annoying me this week. Shut up, kid.
I have no idea if what we are doing is going to give us the results we are go hoping for – less rigidity, more flexibility, more open palate, better nutrition.
No idea. If someone could guarantee me that pushing through all the tough stuff would give him a better quality of life I would do it as long as I had to.
I guess if I didn’t have the hope that good things will eventually come I wouldn’t even try it. So until I give up that hope I must plug on.
Breathe deep to make it through the rough moments.