This post goes along with this one I wrote about Eva and her hemangioma.
Most adults who meet Eva don’t even notice her “manny”.
All kids do.
All kids do.
She’s at their level and they see more of it from their point of view.
Case in point: Cuyler’s new EA had no idea Eva had a hemangioma and she see’s her several times a week at drop off and pick up. The reason it was brought up was that I was telling the EA what happened to Eva at school last week…
I picked her up from school as I usually do. Her teacher came up to me and told me that there were a few tears from her. Very unusual for Eva.
She said that one of the little boys was trying to get a look at her neck, asking what’s on her neck. She told him it’s her manny and then told him it’s a “birthneck”- her term for birthmark (“because it’s on my neck!!”).
Those are her standard replies when anyone asks. He kept asking, not satisfied with her answer. I don’t think she knew what else to say. She got upset and started to cry.
Those are her standard replies when anyone asks. He kept asking, not satisfied with her answer. I don’t think she knew what else to say. She got upset and started to cry.
And my heart broke.
I wished she would have given him her best stinkeye and said something like “Eff off about my manny, before I clobber you!“
(oh yes. I’m using this pic again. Such a great stinkeye)
She has never gotten upset about her manny. Ever. Until now. And aside from the medical issues it posed – the psychosocial issues have been my greatest fear with the hemangioma.
We have worked hard and consciously made the manny a part of her that she is comfortable with. We’ve always been very open to talk about what it is. The way we react to peoples curiosities is how she will react to them.
So…*sigh*…I am now in the process of making a book for her to have at school, explaining what the hemangioma is and to take some of the curiosity away from it and off of her.
Hopefully.
You’re a good mum, Christine. xox
you’re a great mom – what a smart, thoughtful way to respond to this issue. My response would have been so much more emotional and irrational. I love that stinkeye – she’s a tough cookie! and so so beautiful!
The book is a great idea!!! You are such a freaking good mom, Christine.
That touch my heart… Eva is a strong little girl and you should be very proud of her. We try to protect our children as much as we can, i think the book idea is fantastic. GOOD for you.
Ugh. This heart breaking thing SUCKS. Not that it’s any comparison to Eva’s life with her manny… But man – my heart broke the other day with Ryder. He was *trying* to play with a friend of Maggie’s kid… and he was following her around – hoping that she would offer the “let’s play!” or something of that sort. Instead – she said… “Why are you following me everywhere?!?!” He stared at her, frowned, and balled. God. Kids. They’re tough on each other. Anyways – I’ve decided to home school Ryder. I won’t be able to deal with JK. – I’m kidding. Sort of.
Give Eva a hug for me…
Jen – you’re not kidding. I am grateful that it was just her inability to communicate and her frustration which brought on the tears and not some little schmuck being a cruel bugger.
I’m sure that day awaits us. They can’t operate for at least 2 more years.
Kim, Krista & Kath – thank you for your lovely words!
Sara – we can’t wait either!!
Michelle – I’m making the book myself using photo’s of her with the manny in it’s various stages. Hopefully it will satiate their curiosity and they can all move on from it.
You constantly amaze me with your composure and acceptance of the parenting challenges you face! The book is a fabulous idea. It will quell the curiosity of the other students (hopefully) and will arm Eva with all the info she needs.
Ahhh. I know. It is Mama Bear. But, unfortunately, it is her reality and it won’t be the last time she gets questions and, sadly, some of them might be a lot more cutting than curiosity. Being different is SO hard! I think the book will really, really help. Plus, knowing that the child is simply curious will help Eva too. Now she has answers.
I went through this when my girl got glasses at 5 – bifocals no less! It was tough and she still gets questions but she seems to cope better now. Good job, mom.
good luck with your book search, it’s amazing how many things have been turned into stories for children. ((hugs)) to your baby girl
I love the book idea….I can’t wait to squeeze her on Saturday!
Poor, sweet Eva. No one wants to see their baby hurt. You are doing an amazing job and the book is a fabulous idea.
Such a good mommy. tolerance and awareness are wonderful things to promote!