I can’t believe it. My Baby is almost 1. I’ve been referring to her as my “newborn” for so long, and now she’s on the verge of becoming a toddler – just like that.
I just started weaning her from the breast, and I’m having a tough time. This time around, it’s more emotionally charged. I know she’s my last baby, and nursing her has been a fantastic experience. She took easily to breastfeeding, and over the past year, I’ve thoroughly enjoyed and treasured our tender moments together, feeding and cuddling. Those moments allowed me to focus on her and only her, amidst the chaos of noise of her older siblings.
But, I’m ready. Ready to have my body back. Ready to go out for more than 2-3 hours at a time without feeling stressed. Ready to step out of the baby bubble and move on to the next phase.
So far, the weaning has been going okay. She’ll take a bit of milk from the bottle, and from a cup too. I’m still feeding her in the morning and night, which I’m not ready to give up just yet. However, this in-between stage of weaning is wreaking havoc on my hormones. I feel “off” all the time, bursting into tears at random moments, getting more angry than necessary my husband (unfortunately for him, he bears the brunt of a lot of this) for immaterial things, and just not feeling like myself. I don’t remember it being this way with my Girl. I don’t know what it is this time, but it’s really tough.
I know how you feel! It is so hard. I weaned my first at 19mos, second at 23mos, third at 23months, fourth at just over 2yrs old. I miss it and just as you say, it was a nice “quiet time” from the chaos of the house. Our time. That last connection from being in utero to needing you so completely.
However, that said, my last two boys moved on from the breast milk to just sticking their hands in my shirt to rub my boobies. They just take “inventory” and seem to feel ok, then they relax and go to sleep. Too funny. I am clearly raising four boob men. Now if only their dad wasn’t such a boob. Oh, oops, did I say that???/
I, too, feel for you. I felt exactly the same way when weaning. It definitely does take your body (and emotional state) on a rollercoaster ride but it’s all par for the course. Hopefully your husband is understanding and knows that this is beyond your control. Hopefully he can keep it all in perspective.
Hopefully you can too, as difficult as that can be. Think of the positives: you’ve mentioned the ability to spend longer periods of time out, to worry less about those ‘baby’ issues, to get your body back to “normal.” And, you know from experience that every stage has it’s own rewards and bonding moments. My perspective on the last baby growing up changed dramatically once I decided to embrace each and every moment and not dwell on what had moved on. There’s so much excitement at every age. Just wait until your hormones settle down again and you’ll feel that joy and quirkiness known as toddler!
Hey Amreen, i feel your pain. I weaned my first at 20 months and my 2nd at 2.5 years and it was hard both times. Like any passage, there’s always an element of giving something up as your child moves to a new stage (whether you or they are the driving force). That’s part of the bittersweet nature of motherhood, I think. Anyway…it’s not easy, but we’re with you!
It is such a tough transition, especially when you know it’s your last baby. Hang in there.
My son weaned himself on a flight to Ireland at about 8 months. All I remember was how huge and full and leaking my boobs were at 37,000 feet… and he wanted nothing! Ouch! (And by the way the trans Atlantic planes still had smoking sections back then!)
I suggest story time cuddling to help fill the void. Jim Trelease once published an outstanding book called “The Read Aloud Handbook.” Tips and benefits of reading aloud to kids and the back of the book contained an extensive guide of recommended books for a variety of ages. I had a copy signed by the author years ago… but lent it out and never saw it again.
Hey I just looked! He has a website! But of course!
http://www.trelease-on-reading.com/
I know. It is SO tough, Amreen. I weened my first at 9mths and my second at 19mths. Neither time was I totally ready and I definitely missed it. Although it offered me more freedom I gave up something so sweet. I’m not sure that helps at all other than to know you are not alone. One thing to remember, there is no 100% right time or right way. A great parenting philosophy for pretty much anything!