I used to love my dog. I really did.
We got him before we had kids and my oldest, most loyal readers will remember that I used to devote posts to Rolo, filled with images of his furry antics and doggy t-shirts and photo shoots. Then, we had a baby and he got nudged down a few levels on the familial totem pole. He was no longer like a child to us and I definitely paid him less attention. Throw another couple kids into the mix and, I hate to say it, I often find him more of a nuisance than anything. Which is awful because he really is the best dog in the whole wide world. He has been nothing but fabulous with our kids, he is sweet and obedient and adorable and my first puppy love. I need to show him more love and not just get annoyed when he stands directly in the middle of the doorway as I’m trying to leave, 80-pound carseat on the crook of my arm, 56-pound diaper bag slung over my other shoulder, when all I want to do is kick him out of my way.
He’s a good boy. We need to go on a couple’s retreat or something.
Did your relationship with your pet change after you had kids?
Please don’t give up your pets. You made a commitment to them, to keep them safe and provide shelter. As for shelters and other animal organizations, they are filled with enough unwanted pets.
The silver lining could be that after your fraternal twins are born, get other people (even hire a student) to help take care of your 3 dogs’ needs. You’re really going to be needing whatever spare time that you have left after your twins are born for yourself. You’ll have to set boundaries on guarding this time so that you can take care of yourself.
Ani we don’t mean to make you sad. We’re commenting here with kids already. We’re posting here about how *before* our kids, we were available (a lot more available) with our time, energy, and ability to care for our dogs’ requests. But after kids, dogs’ needs just become demands because they’re like another kid that put demands on our tired/sleep-deprived/”me last”/care-giving selves.
What’s being said here isn’t a cause for guilt nor are admissions from bad people, but are honest comments/observations from moms about being taxed for care-giving by both dogs and kids. And here moms are being honest in admitting they can’t do it all, and that dogs have to be ranked under their kids.
Ani we don’t mean to make you sad. We’re commenting here with kids already. We’re posting here about how *before* our kids, we were available (a lot more available) with our time, energy, and ability to care for our dogs’ requests. But after kids, dogs’ needs just become demands because they’re like another kid that put demands on our tired/sleep-deprived/”me last”/care-giving selves.
What’s being said here isn’t a cause for guilt nor are admissions from bad people, but are honest comments/observations from moms about being taxed for care-giving by both dogs and kids. And here moms are being honest in admitting they can’t do it all, and that dogs have to be ranked under their kids.
Oh gosh, this makes me sad. I have one daughter and a son due in August… and I still love my 3 dogs as much as I ever did. They are still an equal part of my family.
Also Nancy, my husband’s sister’s two dogs lick our daughter’s snotty face. I love their help! Especially whenever our kid hates having her face wiped by me with a wet wipe.
Dogs endear themselves more to me whenever they are really helpful with tasks. So I really like service dogs. Too bad we don’t have dog babysitters or nannies yet. And meh I can say this. 😀
Nancy I thought the same. Dogs would be more endearing when they lick boogers on your snotty kid’s face and politely poop where you don’t have to pick it up 😀
GETTING a pet took a backseat to motherhood for me
when I thought about getting one, I was a single mom and was talked out of it.
Wouldn’t it be a bit perfect if this sweet dog licked little one’s nose clean. Double duty as loving pet and nose wiper of small people!Am I the only one who thought this?
We have an aging dog we’ve had since he was a puppy, and yes, he’s slipped down the family totem pole with each child. I confess that oftentimes he feels like more of a chore than our sweet little pup… the dog hair everywhere seems to bother me more (not less) but he’s beginning to fade now, at 13.5 years. I love him still and he’s been the best little dog, but he’s always been stinky (chronic yeast infections in his ears – YUCK!!) and now that he’s becoming incontinent? Well, when his time comes, I’ll be sad, certainly, and I will miss his face in our home, but I’m not sure I’ll miss having a dog. Not anytime soon, anyway.
I get the struggle, lady. Totally. I get the urge to kick mine out of the way too sometimes. I think it’s just like that, especially when the kids are small. Poo.
My husband’s sister got two basset hound puppies. Now they’re almost a year (will be on Apr 24). Both she and her live-in boyfriend work, and so the dogs are always alone during day on the weekdays. I sometimes asked them if they considered dog daycare! Lol. Anyway, she made a calendar of those two dogs, and mostly dotes on them.
Really don’t feel too awful. A dog, cat or etc., are really another species. Kids are going to keep our species existing while dogs & cats won’t. With your thinking brain, sure you can think they’re like blood and your family. But when you have your kids, you know that you didn’t birth them and your motherly or fatherly feelings instinctively outrank your reasons for having pets all those years ago. Also if you adopted your kid, you’ll likely derank your pet too because the child is your species.
Personally I’ve held off on getting a dog until after having kids. Perhaps because I didn’t want to get a dog to have it as a child, etc. etc., or for whatever other reason. Anyway, we have our daughter and she has her place in our family. So it’s now that I’m looking for a dog.
P.S. – The humane societies (plus animal rescues) always take in your pets whenever you have a change and are unable to keep the animal. The good ones won’t judge you.
I’ll report back to you in September… but I sure hope not! Kumeu is definitely our baby right now and SUCH a great dog. I think he will make an exceptionally good babysitter!
(But realistically and inevitably (and unfortunately), I’m sure the relationship will change to SOME degree).
With only one baby to deal with (not 3!) we’ve made a real conscious effort to keep the pets happy. I still walk the dog twice a day and train him once a week in agility. But then he was totally my baby before my baby. I refer to them as my first baby and my first born. Husband makes sure the cat feels the love too. The birds on the other hand? I’d give them away… And I already got rid of the fish. I guess that means by the 3rd child we’ll be up to trying to give the dog away!!!
Yes, I doted on my dog before I had Jacob and he’s no longer the apple of my eye. He’s just a big dopey dog, and so great with Jacob. But also somewhat needy and I don’t always have time or energy to devote to him.
oh HECK ya! max was like rolo. our first baby 🙂 we cuddled him. we brushed him. we WALKED him. we bought him little doggy toys. then we had kids. slowly but surely, i find myself ignoring him, most of the time and then getting upset because he is always underfoot and i’m tripping on him. i’ve thought of giving him away. he doesn’t deserve our ignorance. and then i remember how i don’t have to sweep the floor after mealtimes. how (wait for it…)i’ve never cleaned up puke on the floor 🙂 (i know, nice! 😉 lol). and he looks up at me, with those big brown eyes and little doggy smile and i have to pet him. i couldn’t give him away. he’s our BABY 🙂 aria (our almost 3 year old) would miss him. even the baby loves to watch that curious fuzzy creature 🙂 and i’ve come to the conclusion, that we could never NOT have him in the family. i hope he lives long and happy, just like rolo 🙂
Yes! Immediately! What I wouldn’t give for a nice home for my two pains in the… But so far, Travis really wants to keep them. It just seems like they are two more mouths to feed. (you want food and water AGAIN?!? Didnt you just eat yesterday?) Although they have been super good with Blake so far and know their place on the new and improved totem pole, they are definitely a nuissance.