This is what we have learned this week:
That was one of the most tear-inducing proposals in Bachelor history.
That was possibly the most awkward After the Final Rose EVER.
Brad has a temper. Apparently Emily has POKED THE BEAR.
Emily has a temper.
Emily doesn’t want to marry Brad.
Emily doesn’t want to wear her ring.
Emily tells us that having children is not always fun. And then she tells us again. And then she tells us again.
Brad loves Austin.
Emily does not love Austin.
I think I liked the idea of Brad and Emily more than they like each other.
Brad kept Chantal until the end…because that’s how this show works. Had no one ever watched The Bachelor before? He can’t end the show and just walk away with Emily after the first week.
Emily thinks that Brad boinked Chantal in their fantasy suite…remember that fantasy suite? THE TREEHOUSE? There is no way.
Nobody wants to hear from past couples; it makes them seem like smug jackasses.
Each “I love you” was more uncomfortable and less believable than the one before it.
See also: “we are happy.”
Strange things are afoot at the Circle K. Body language speaks volumes. The two, sadly, are doomed.