In case you missed last night’s Oscars, here’s a recap from my Twitter timeline.
6:21pm from @SharonHayes: Carry out ONE random act of kindness a day, w/no expectation of reward.
Me: Does that include telling actresses what to wear?
7:15pm Anyone else find it really weird without Barbara Walters?
7:20pm Hillary’s glowing as always
7:22pm Don’t you wish 14 year olds would dress like 14 year olds?
7:27pm from @theresaalbert: um have u seen 14 year olds these days? So no. I’d prefer 14 year olds to dress like 7 year olds…
Me: Fair nuff
7:27pm So Christian Bale’s going with the Jeff Bridges/mountain man after a bender look tonight…
7:30pm Reece is rocking the b&w ’60’s swank tonight.
7:33pm Um…Nicole you don’t need the hip padding…
7:40pm or as @SusanCanLiving put it: Christian Bale? Or Yukon Cornelius?
7:52pm Seriously, Blanchet, what were you smoking?
7:57pm Love Natalie’s dress, but maybe she should invest in a hair brush…
8:01pm Jen Hudson also radiant in red
8:08pm My mom thinks Sandra looks tired and sad.
8:11pm Mom also thinks Timberlake’s mother needs a talking too…
8:13pm Mom wants to know who the short guy is with the Ginger Aussie
8:18pm from @HomerJSimpson: To answer every Oscar-watcher’s fav question: I’m wearing spilled Duff with splattered pasta sauce highlights.
8:30pm Here we go!
8:40pm This could go either way right now, but it’s not looking good …
8:52pm I know I shouldn’t say this, but this is embarrassing & uncomfortable.
8:59pm F BOMB!!!
9:15pm Who’s bored?
9:15pm from @ebertchicago: I learned Melissa’s f-bomb was NOT bleeped in Canada. Of course, they’ve heard it before.
9:22pm Best part of the Oscars so far? The ad for Kung Fu Panda 2. We Will Wok You…
9:26pm And the gloves come off (or go on) with the Charlie Sheen joke…
9:28pm from @35mmMonkey: I AM NOT DRUNK ENOUGH FOR THIS.
9:37pm from @thesulk: I always forget that Christian Bale talks like a 19th century chimney sweep.
9:40pm Reality moment from @pmharper: Details on Canada’s sanctions against the Gadhafi regime
9:42pm Brett says Nicole needs a sandwich and some more embalming fluid.
9:43pm from @bitwhizzle: “you’re the “wolver” to my “rine”…” wow.
Me: Hurts, doesn’t it…
9:46pm The sound, the sound, the sound of your careers dying…
9:48pm Mom just asked if I want some of bubbie’s old doilies to make a dress out of. Guess she doesn’t like Scarlett’s gown
9:49pm from @TeresaPavlinek: James Franco and Anne Hathaway have the comic timing of lettuce.
9:56pm “Congratulations nerds”? Great way to show some respect.
10:03pm Why has Kevin Spacey never hosted? He’d be great.
10:12pm This is like the Spider-Man musical of awards shows.
10:17pm We just hit a new low…
10:20pm Kinda felt Oprah deserved a better intro. Kinda…
10:20pm Oprah’s false lashes are too long & clearly bothering her.
10:21pm from @redneckmommy: Wow. Oprah’s boobs look like they could smother small children.
10:21pm from @meredithheron: What’s wrong with Oprah’s face/makeup?
10:22pm from @YMC_BC: Sorry Oprah, that dress isn’t complementing your boobage
10:22pm from @ElaineOrrMorgan: Not a flattering dress on Oprah.
10:23pm from @jojoey: I was waiting for Oprah to give the whole audience an Oscar!
10:28pm from @jamesfranco: Oprah! realtime
Me: Wow, stars take crap pictures too.
10:34pm from @Joelscottradio: Oprah’s Bra wins for best supporting everything
10:44pm And speaking of embarrassing, here comes Gwynnie singing…
10:47pm Jenny’s all like, I got an Oscar and hit albums and didn’t have to show my tits… Take that Paltrow.
11:04pm “Triangle of man love”??
11:05pm “Moral of the story is listen to your mother!” Amen!
11:25pm Yea Mr. Darcy!!
11:29pm ” I have some impulses I have to tend to backstage…”