Six years ago, my sister, Madeleine, died. That seems so surreal. She was 31. Her kids were three & one. She died of cancer, metastatic epithelial cancer, likely cervical. She was diagnosed on February 6th, 2003, our mother’s birthday. And she died on November 23rd, 2004, our father’s birthday. Who can explain that? Who can explain how she had to suffer, because she did really suffer. At first mostly emotionally, because her husband abandoned her, and then really physically, because cancer SUCKS! Madeleine’s death inspired Jen to start UrbanMoms, you can read that story here.
How can it have been that long ago that she left us?
I’ve been thinking about this post for a long time. I’ve never felt like I could write about her death before, and, really, I’m not sure I really can.
What I can say is that I miss her. Not everyday. But, a lot.
I miss her when my kids do something cute that I want to share. I miss her when her kids do something cute that she would want to share. I miss her when I look into Matthew & Ella’s (her kids) faces and see her face. I miss her when I’m playing games with M & E and think, she should be here too. I miss her when we are together as a family and M & E aren’t there, because they have other family commitments. I miss her when I have parenting questions that I would like to discuss with her. I miss her when I have personal angst that I need to share. I really missed her when my girls were born.
Honestly, I don’t really know what else to say. There are no comforting platitudes to help.
What I have, is this tribute I made for her. Please link to it, unfortunately, I cannot embed it right now.