So as a mom to 8 crazy monkeys I can’t resist. Given the recent uproar over a restaurants decision to ban children under the age of 6 I have to comment and add my 2 cents worth.
I think there are many restaurants that have probably wanted to do this but just actually didn’t have the balls to do so. I have had my share and have seen enough restaurant meltdowns so I can honestly see where these owners are coming from and why they would want to enforce such a thing. Come on, put yourself in someone else’s shoes – how would you really feel if you and your partner where able to escape one evening for a romantic night out enjoying a great bottle of wine, talking about anything and everything except your children when out of nowhere the 2 year old sitting at the table across from you suddenly decides he doesn’t like his food and tosses it – right on to your table? Then he starts to scream like a wild banshee from hell and then begins to run around the tables? Maybe a bit extreme sure but it can, and has, happened.
Maybe you are one of those really insane thoughtful and nice people who are able to laugh it off because you know that could be your child. However for most of us who are willing to admit – it would royally piss us off. We are forking out $10 bucks (or more) an hour for a babysitter so we could get away from this annoying behaviour, not get stuck in the middle of it.
However, this is not to say that I totally agree with this whole banning issue because I don’t. Perhaps if restaurants want such a thing they could come up with a compromise. Why not do the same thing pubs do? Allow children up until a certain time like 8pm, and then after that – no kiddies. People who don’t want screaming bratty children can visit after 8pm.
My biggest issue however is not the children or the restaurants, but the parents. Yes that’s right the parents. Parents know their children and know perfectly well if one (or all) of them can, or will, behave in a restaurant – yet they tend to have selective memory when it comes to these facts about their children.
My husband is a CEO and owner of a company, and so we have had our fair share of events and visits to fine dining restaurants since they were born – some for personal some for business. Each visit however, warranted a look at the days situation, which children (if any) would be okay to attend, and what child needed to be tied up and kept home. Case and point – my almost 5 year old is currently banned from attending any public place with me such as restaurants (unless it is a drive thru) and stores because he simply cannot behave. Does this make him a rotten kid? No. He is just at an age where he is developing his sense of self. (well okay he is also whiny, throws tantrums when he can’t get what he wants and climbs on and up everything).
All of that being said, I have actually been thrown out of a restaurant. Yep, that’s right it was in Saskatchewan. Ryley (my almost 5 year old again) was about 16 months old at the time and we were at what was supposedly, a family restaurant. Ryley was very excited and so he kept laughing and squealing like babies do. Apparently his baby laughter was destroying some baby haters people’s night out but the loud and obnoxious football team that was seated three tables over wasn’t. Go figure. Needless to say I never went back to that establishment.
What’s your take on restaurants banning those under age 6? For or against? Have you ever been kicked out of a restaurant?
Until next time,
Chantel, Momof8crazymonkeys
I have never been there but I will have to check it out!
I like dim sum with my 5-year-old daughter because the food arrives immediately, and there’s lots of background noise, so any noise she makes isn’t noticed.
I too would love to see how their kiddies were at that stage, and you are probably right – too afraid to move. Kids need to be kids no matter where they are:)
Hey Chantel,
I like the “tongue sticking out” idea (lol). We were all kids once and it should be understood that they derserve to be respected as well. All 7 of the kids sat down at the table. None of them ran around. None of them were throwing things around or being disruptive in any way. They were just a bunch of sweet kids enjoying a dinner out and were excited to be there. They ate, laughed, and played to their hearts content……just what kids were meant to do.
Would love to have seen how their kids were at that stage……or better yet, were their kids “afraid” to move or speak? Maybe its better I dont know 🙂
Thanks akskathy – you are so right – many restaurants are geared towards family and children and many are not. That is great that your daughter can bring a book and enjoy herself with you. I have a few who are amazing when dining and some who are not allowed at all lol.
I love your idea Darlene about dividing the restaurant! I never thought of that and you are so right they used to be when smoking was allowed. Thanks:)
I agree bring on the stink eye!:)
Sylvana I have to say I get those looks ALL the time. people look at me as we enter a room and automatically think that because we have so many children that they are misbehaved, disrespectful and bratty. They are usually in for a surprise because for the most part my children are very quiet and well behaved in public places (it is just at home that they are wild and crazy ha, ha). I am glad you stood your ground and let THEM move. That is pretty ridiculous that they would act like that when it was already loud for goodness sake. I think it is so funny that you encouraged them to be lous as they walked away – I maybe would have even overlooked a few tongues sticking out…….. opps did I say that out loud?
I think there are enough family style restaurants which welcome children so that people can have a decent enough meal and not have to worry about their kids bothering anyone. But there are some places which – honestly – children have no business being there. Aside from the fact that the menu has no “children” section, the atmosphere is geared towards adults, and it is just not child friendly. An out right ban?…. I can see where they are coming from. Some people either can’t or won’t control their kids. Or as stated don’t have enough common sense to realize their child is just not ready for that type of place. I enjoy sometimes having our daughter (who is actually very quiet and usually brings a small book to read- if she gets bored) at the right type of places….but there are plenty of places which I would never bring her and that is when it is time to call the sitter.
I totally diagree with banning children from restaurants. Period. Not after a certain time. Not at all. I agree that parents need to exercise discretion and proper judgement though. But I think a great compromise might be to divide the restaurant. We used to have smoking and non-smoking before smoking in ALL closed in public places was banned in Ontario. Maybe now we can have children and childless sections. Children won’t be banned and people who don’t want to be around the kids don’t have to be. Something to consider.
I like the compromise idea. I’ve got a two-year old, but I most definitely wouldn’t have him out for dinner past 6:30/7:00 pm. After that — have at ‘er with your adult-only environment.
I work hard for my $$ and I can afford to dine at a variety of establishments … but the flip-side is that when it’s time to relax and enjoy a meal out — I *want* my son there. I don’t need someone else watching him just so I can avoid cooking for one night. However, I also acknowledge that he is a toddler and wouldn’t dream of taking him into a “fine dining” restaurant at any hour. At any other restaurant … people can give me the stink-eye all they like! That’s their problem if they can’t handle a child during regular dining hours.
Huffs, puffs, eye-rolling and muttered comments don’t intimidate me–I have equal right to be there and I will stand my ground. Other parents should feel confident to do the same!
Hi ladies, when I read this I just had to put in my two cents…or whatever its worth..I am a mom of kids ranging from 5 to 10 and my husband & I take our kids out for dinner at least once a week (usually Saturday nights). However, on this particular occasion I was with my girlfriend who also has 4 kids. We were in Unionville and decided to stop in at a pub. It was loud and there was music playing, so by all means, not a place you would go for a quiet evening. As we sat down (all 9 of us) the kids were excited and happy to be together. Were they loud….yes…were they roudy…no. Anyways the table next to us (6 people) all adults were quickyl annoyed..down right pissed off…especially the one woman who looked at our kids like they were aliens!! They quickly asked to be moved to another table away from us. Fine by me, however, if a nice quiet dinner amongst herself and the rest of her party was what they had in mind….why choose a place that is and was just as loud as our kids? They were not running around or causing mayhem cuz I just wouldnt allow them to behave like that, but this place was a pub & grill and it was an atmosphere that you would anticipate and expect music and people mingling around and enjoying their evening as they chowed down on burgers, fries and wings. They left quite quickly and I (and the waiter) ENCOURAGED the children to be as loud as they wanted as these patrons left with such a disgusted and hateful look on their face. MY POINT??? well if you want a quite and peaceful night out with other adults…..stay away from places that are ALREADY loud and busy. Perhaps they have forgotten or “selective memory” that stands in their way of remembering how their children were or better yet how they themselves were as children. a little patience and tolerance would b nice 🙂
Longest yard…..? I will have to check that out next time I am in the big city – thanks Sara:)
I couldn’t agree more Tracey – some of the parents are worse than the children;)
I think if I heard clinking glasses and I wasn’t at a wedding I would lose it:) I hear you loud and clear about bringing a kiddie with autism – mine actually do worse in the family type restaurants and I am pretty sure it is because of the noise level – my one has sensory issues around certain noises. We were in a Jack Asstors restaurant and my younger autistic one started screaming REALLY loud at everyone and telling them to be quiet because his head was going to bust open. Needless to say we made a quick exit:)
I’m all for the ban frankly. I think there are restaurants that cater to families and that are still awesome! (I want to give a shout out to the Longest Yard on Bloor St. – where families are treated incredibly!!). I’m sorry but kids don’t belong at North 44 or Canoe. They don’t. If you can afford to eat out, you can afford a sitter. (although the idea of before a certain hour is not a bad one either). And rachel – I looooove that lunch box idea )I’m totally going to do that!
I agree, completely. I leave my kids at home when I know they’re not at an age or stage of life to be able to manage… I hate spending my hard earned cash on a nice meal out, AND on a pricey sitter, only to be completely harassed by someone else’s ill-behaved kid. Indeed, that’s what family-style restos are for. (And yes, it’s got more to do with the parenting – some people have no sense of decorum at all when it comes to dining out, even as adults, let alone what they deem acceptable behaviour from their children. Oy.)
Great post, Chantel!
Totally with you here.
I like the ban. It took us several years to be able to go to restaurant as a family. Bringing a young child to a restaurant isn’t always fun. Bringing a young child with autism can be a mistake. So there were a few occasions where we walked out mid meal for the sake of the other diners.
I think it’s important for children to get the opportunity to go to restaurants to learn appropriate public social skills. That’s what Pizza Hut and Kelsey’s are for.
When Sean and I go for a meal sans enfants, I go for a break from my kids and not to hear someone else’s ill mannered, squacking children, clinking their glasses like they’re at at a wedding.
Good question Rachel! Yes we have automatically been charged a few times. Nasty isn’t it? At one place my hubby actually got into quite a heated discussion (well maybe more like an argument) about it. This has happened more when we have been in the states for some reason. We often go out as a family but we make sure it is early enough that children won’t go nuts. I love your idea regarding the restaurant kit with the special box and all. Thanks so much
There are certain restaurants which I would never dream of bring my children to, but you’re right: why is a child more annoying than the roudy table in the corner?
I think it’s more about the parents than the child. We used to carry a “restaurant kit”: a special Scooby Doo lunchbox, with a treasure trove of items inside which the children only ever got when we went out to a restaurant. It was really great for keeping them occupied, especially when we were on trips and might be out later than usual.
We don’t really have to do that anymore, because the kids are older and know how to behave. Then again, my 5 year old is also going through an “energetic” phase right now, so I’m cooking a lot more…
My question to you is if you’re out with the whole brood, do restaurants automatically add a 15-20% service charge?
LOL fancy clothes for sure! Yes I too have been given the “Bad parent” look more times than I care to remember, but at least us parents escort our children out instead of leaving them to cause complete chaos. Thanks.
Thanks Sarah we often do the lunch thing as well. It is less disturbing to people and often you don’t get the same crowd;) As for being alone with the hubby – yep I try to get babysitters whenever possible. By the way – love your site!
I’m with you – I know what kind of day my kids are having. If they’re having the kind of day where they just can’t handle being out in the world, we don’t go out in the world. And if we get to a restaurant and they lose it, we leave. I’ve gotten the “Bad Parent” look for escorting my screaming toddler out while my husband paid the bill, or for nursing my (then) infant in the car.
I would gladly attend a good restaurant with a “no kids after 8pm” policy. Time alone with my husband, in our fancy clothes, on an actual date, wherein we can actually hear each other speak? Who needs Christmas!
Love your perspective- and I totally share it.
To be honest, I rarely take Zach (2)& Will (7 weeks) out to restaurants because I know that Zach can’t sit still for long enough and will end up needing to wander, potentially bugging other people and disturbing the idea of dinner out for me and hubby. Instead, we wait until we have family around and duck out for a dinner alone OR we go out to eat for lunch…not as exciting but it doesn’t seem to bother people as much at lunch time. I’d rather enjoy my overpriced dinner out, alone with hubs, then chase after my 2 year old or shhhhh my newborn. But that’s just me.
Love the idea of no kids after a certain time- not for all restaurants but for ones that warrant it (finer dining, etc…)