I have a great friend who takes a drinkbbatical-meaning a sabbatical from drinking- every September and January. Every year. “Got to, Nance, need to give the bod a rest.”
His wife loves this time because he is less foolish, snores less and does not toot in his sleep…. as much.
Two times a year every year, I say to him the same thing- ‘ hey, how about just a little (lot) less so that the mandatory drying out period is not so critical?”
He looks at me like I have 10 heads.
I drink a glass of wine almost every night and on certain fun nights two, maybe three. I love it. I loathe having more than that as I can’t find myself, get sloppy, make disastrous choices, and I lose a whole day the next day feeling lousy. I can’t give up a whole day. But I also have no intention of giving up the wine I do drink. I save entire funny stories for the minute at the end of my day when someone says ” would you like a glass of wine?”
So help me understand the latest rage- the manbbatical – going on sabbatical from men. A year of living manlessly (seriously, what would Bond say?)
Here are the 10 Rules of the Manbattical (this is not for the married no matter how much a few of you from my last week’s post might like the idea)
1. No Sex
3. No flirty texts, emails and conversations of any kind
4.No dates including (lunch and coffee)
7.No suggestive status updates/ tweets
8.No looking at dudes* website, facebook/twitter page more than 1x24hours
9.No inviting boys to my shows or going to theirs
10.No making any decisions based on dudes incl. gigs, outing, number of drinks consumed once realized said boys are in same location.
*men/man-boy of particular interest
Now, why on earth would any sane person do this?
“After piles of bad boys and dead end dates, 30 something women are hoping a he-tox- no sex- will recharge their self esteem batteries and point them in a happier direction”
I was newly married making babies at 30 something so I cannot relate to that but now well well well into my 40’s I would never take a year off knowingly and purposefully from anything I love. This is plain careless. Do they not understand mortality?
A jubjubettical? YES. I understand that.
A Holt Renfrewabbatical ? Some of you require this.
A Botoxabbatical? Giddyup girls who can’t close those eyes or grimace with any enthusiasm they’ve had so much work.
But a manbbatical ? Have you lost your bloody minds? Go straight to your doctor.