I have always loved hard questions ~ except for an extended period of darkness where I was running as fast as I could from the truth.
I try to ask hard questions of the people I care about and hope so much for them to ask them of me.
I can hear my children hold their breath a little – now almost comically- when I say I want to talk to them- so I quickly say it is nothing bad.
It happens mainly in the “trap” (the car) because there is no homework, chores or interrruptions there.
Recently on a road trip to visit Universities, they started with the hard questions. They asked me if their dad was my first love.
As you know I love metaphors. I said to my eldest- “You know how the first University you saw you thought was the best until you saw other ones?” “Love is a bit like that – you don’t want to go attend Mcmaster until you have seen Queens”
Many jokes ensued- Will Laurier is dead, Western is wild, McGill is sophisticated and cultured. BINGO. So many ‘schools’, so little time.
How badly I wanted them to ask the question I asked both of my parents in separate rooms (P.O.W. strategy) when I was a teen – “Were you a virgin when you got married?”
They never asked this but we did talk about sexual compatability, feeling good about passion and keeping your head about you. For once and for all I would like to remind those scaredy cats that this does not give encouragement to our daughters to sleep with the whole football team. I am pretty sure, in fact that it works to the contrary.
Passion and self respect can co exist. We need to embrace this and teach our children about it.
Thank you Id. That is a lovely thing to say.
Beautiful. *heart squeezes*. “Passion and self-respect can co-exist”.
I have never heard of a better way to tell a child the story of growing up healthy.
Nancyisms. Huhhhhhh. (good sigh). I thank my stars Nancy your girls came before mine.
xoxox
i
We are very open with our older daughters also. The twins are a little young yet! I think you are right, it’s not encouraging them to sleep around, it’s about quality after all and we all need to demand it.
Love it…I plan on being really open with the boy too – he’ll probably be so embarrased!
ok but leslie if you see any funny business please let me know- we neighbours have to watch out for each other’s children! xn
hey, I bow to you and don’t you forget it.
all that and a nice haircut! xoxo
Nicely put Nancy, and I agree, the more you talk the less likely you will be surprised at what they have been up to.
You are amazing. They are blessed to have you.
When I read your posts about you and your girls it makes me want to be the kind of mom you are to my daughter (and sons!!)