While hanging out with Anastasia and Roman I was surprised to see how quicky toddler gender roles emerge. Anastasia is just over two and Roman just under two so she is a little older which may account for some of her desire to be a care giver but I sense that it’s partly because she is a little girl. I remember my mom telling me that she was taking Womyn’s Courses in University when I was a little and very purposefully gave me the opportunity to choose either trucks or barbies. The only thing I used trucks for was to make beds for my babies.
For Anastasia nurturing instinct kicked in shortly after our arrival. She wanted to feed Roman, dress him, diaper him and brush his teeth. Roman was sometimes happy to add to his harem but other times wanted his space and no help from his lady friend.
Roman was not always a gentleman in return. He sometimes pulled her beautiful ringlets, pushed her down the slide, refused to hold her hand and took her toys away. Who knew, my sweet boy could be a bit of a brute. He wasn’t a thug all the time and often it was all kisses and giggles, swapping toothbrushes, bubble bath fun and walking hand in hand.
When he did not treat her well and I would remove him from her or scold him for being rough and then she would act as though it was her being punished. She would rub his back or put her finger up and shake it at me clearly defending her little man. Now, I was getting concerned that this relationship was becoming abusive. He grabs her hair and she comes back, he pushes her, she waits for him to come back again, I scold him and she soothes him.
I found myself saying things to Anastasia that I and perhaps many women need to hear.
“If a boy is not being nice to you then you should stop playing with him until he chooses to place nicely”
So simple yet so difficult to do when you are in love with a bad boy. Walk away sister, walk away.
“He doesn’t want to hold your hand right now Sweetie. He just wants a little time to himself then he will be ready to hold your hand again”
If only I had known as a toddler that men need their space and you cannot force them to keep holding your hand if they don’t want to anymore even if you are as cute as princess Anastasia.
“Don’t give him your last bite of yogurt. He has his own tub, and his own spoon, you don’t need to feed him and you should save a little for yourself”
Well that’s a mouthful for all of us!
I thought to truly love you must be willing to give every last ounce but as it turns out that just leaves you yogurt-less.
It seems Anastasia will be a fellow hopeless romantic, it takes one to know one. Fated to spend a lifetime seeking out that boy that never wants to let go of your hand, plays nicely and shares his yogurt.