When Eva was a baby – all I could see when I looked at her was her striking eyes (okay…and the cheeks):
All other people could see was her hemangioma:
All other people could see was her hemangioma:
When I look at my daughter now I see this:
I see her beautiful blue eyes. I see her perfect nose. Her kissy-lips. Her lovely whispy blonde hair.
Over the past few months I have heard 2 questions asked more often than ever from people “Was she burned?” (from adults) or “Why are there holes in her neck?” (from kids)
She has always known about her birthmark. She’s had people ask questions about it her whole life. But she’s never asked any questions about it. Until now.
On the weekend Eva was standing in the bathroom and I could see her leaning in close to the mirror checking her manny out. I’d never seen her do that before. She asked me “Why do I have holes in my manny?”
I had been waiting for her to start asking questions for about 3 years now. And she finally asked. Deep breath.
The way we deal with it will directly reflect how she will.
I kept my answer easy, matter of fact and straightforward:
When you were a baby your manny had some really sore booboo’s on it. The holes are where the booboo’s were.
I kept my answer easy, matter of fact and straightforward:
When you were a baby your manny had some really sore booboo’s on it. The holes are where the booboo’s were.
“Did it hurt?” Yes. But you had medicine to make it feel better.
“Did I cry?” Sometimes. You were a very brave baby. And you still are.
“Did I cry?” Sometimes. You were a very brave baby. And you still are.
“It doesn’t hurt me now.” Nope. Mommy and Daddy and the doctors made it all better. I’ll miss your manny when it goes away.
“Ya…me too.”
It was a short conversation, but a very important one. It was the very first time she was really looking at it and noticed the scars and asked about them.
I hope she is always this open about it – especially when questions start becoming directed at her and not Sean and I. I hope that we can give her the confidence and self-esteem to answer people’s questions without being embarrassed or self conscious of it.
She’s fun and funny and smart and witty and silly and I think she’ll draw strength from all of those qualities when she’s dealing with questions and curiosities about it.
It’s another one of those parent issues that make my tummy nervous when I think about her in the big bad world dealing with people who may not be as kind as they could be. But then I think back a few years to that tough little cookie going through all she did as a baby and I know that she’ll do just fine. That strong spirit has been a part of her from day one.
It’ll take her far in life.
What a lovely, lovely girl you have there, lady… and she’s got an excellent mum. Yay for you all!!
I have just started reading your blog Christine. God bless you and your family. You now have another fan.
Gosh, she’s so beautiful Christine. Strong and beautiful.
She is the cutest girl ever! Wow Christine, you are amazing. Your response to her questions was perfect.
I love this piece, Christine, and I remember those chipmunk cheeks on my now 15 year old. You are wonderful to share bravely-she chose the right family and undoubtedly she will understand herself and the world more acutely because of this. All good. All beautiful.
What a beautiful story and what a beautiful little girl. She will be just fine…she has wonderful parents.
She sure does have kissy lips!
I think you’re handling it beautifully. Of course people will be curious about it, so it’s great that you’re prepared to deal honestly and without rancour when the inevitable questions come. It sounds like Eva has the tools she’ll need to do so as well.
I also like that you said you’ll miss her manny when it’s gone. It’s great to love and accept ALL of her and what makes her unique. I would never have thought of it, but when you said it, it just sounded so perfect.
You are a great mom Christine! All I see is a beautiful gift from God!