Thus far, I've been pretty lucky when it comes to tantrums. My kids have never really been into the the screaming, lying-on-the-floor, kicking and wailing kind of thing. They're more of the whining sort, which is equally painful in its own way.
However, this was not the case at Costco on Tuesday. On the weekend, we ran out of everything simultaneously – razors, soap, shampoo, laundry detergent – you name it. I lured the Girl into the van to accompany me with promises of a Costco hot dog. We made our way and I was quite pleased to have the company – groceries/supplies shopping stopped being fun for me a long time ago, and it was nice to have someone to chat with along the way.
We finished our shop and began to wait in line which was, to my dismay, adjacent to the aisle of bulk candy and gum. I should have known this meant trouble.
If you ask my Girl what her favourite thing in the world is, she will respond without hesitation, "Gum…and make-up. I've gotten her gum a few times, but am not crazy about where it usually ends up in my house (the bathtub??! gross.) So, the Girl notices the Aisle of Gum (literally, bulk boxes of gum that must have contained 1000 pieces each) and declares, with wide, wide eyes, "I want gum." I said no to her – "That's way too much gum. I'll buy you a smaller pack later."
Clearly, the mere fact that one could physically possess that much gum was just too much for her to bear.
She started to sob as if she'd been beaten. I refused to give in. People around us quickly became uncomfortable and irritated. There's nothing worse that feeling like others are critical of your parenting abilities. I could see from their faces that they thought I should just buy her the bloody gum. But, how could I do that? What lesson does that teach – behave monstrously and you will be rewarded? No way.
So she cried through check-out, then all the way to her school, then at school, where she told her friends and teacher in the coat room that I was mean. I dropped her, went to my car and cried. Sometimes this is really hard.
When I picked up the Girl from school, she said she was sorry and I knew she was. But, the discomfort of the incident lingered with me all day.
You did good Amreen! Although I can empathize with the day long feeling of sadness when your feelings are hurt. The girl loves you unconditionally, but she may throw you under the bus for a stick of juicy fruit!
Good for you, Amreen. As mom to an 8-year old who still can throw public tantrums, I know how great the temptation to give in is.
And be thankful she didn’t run away. The last time I was at Costco (busy Saturday evening) my 8-year old ran off because I refused to buy her a $40 DS game. Try finding a missing 4-foot tall kid in a busy Costco. Instant heart attack.
All’s well now, but I am only doing Costco solo from now on. I just can’t take it with kids in tow!
Being a mother means we often face difficult situations like this. Many would have given in. But you did the right thing, as hard as it was. You are teaching your daughter important lessons that will help her grow into a responsible, respectful and thoughtful person. And, you deserve a lot of credit for being strong, despite how uncomfortable it was.
You are a great mom. Always remember that.
Being a Mom is so hard, and few things are worse than the public tantrum. You did exactly the right thing, and your efforts will pay off some day – at least that is what I keep telling myself! Take solace in the fact that you are not alone!
It was uncomfortable, but you know you did the right thing, and other parents in line should have recognized that as well. Be comforted in knowing she is unlikely to try that type of behaviour again. You’re a good mom and helped her learn a lesson.