Before I had my girls, I knew of friends with young daughters and they would regale me with tales of how their little ones cuddled on the couch with each other, played with one another’s hair, and snuggled in bed together. Cute little loving sisterly moments, I was sure they were headed my way.
Yeah, but no.
My two older girls rarely show physical affection to each other. My five year-old perches on an armchair in the corner of the living room while my three year-old sprawls on the couch by herself. If I try to convince them to sit together, they resist. They have never played in each other’s hair. (Pulled, yanked, and torn each other’s hair, but that’s about it.) The hug when we force them to, but it sure does not come naturally to them.
They are both much more affectionate with their baby sister and have always easily doled out hugs and kisses and cuddles and coos for her, but that’s as far as it goes.
I never had a sister, so I don’t know what’s normal. I wish my girls were more affectionate with each other, but they are just now starting to really, truly play together without clawing each other’s eyeballs out, so perhaps I should celebrate their progress and hope that one day I’ll walk into a room and find them braiding each other’s hair and singing Kumbaya.
Are your kids physically affectionate with one another? Do you find the kids of the same sex more likely to show affection to each other? Are my kids totally doing it wrong?!
Our girls are snugglie together. Every morning Audrey gets up and wants a hug from Bethany first. If I try to get my hug before she’s had her Bethy hug she bursts into to tears and says one or both of these “I wanna Bethy!!!” and/or “You’re fetty (sweaty), don’t hugga me yet!” That being said they can go from a hug to a pinching match in 2.2 seconds.
I was the middle of three girls each less than 2 years apart and we were all very affectionate with each other. At least at times. We also fought like hell. There were times when my little sister was my BFF and times when it was my older sister (it was rarely the two of them as they were farther apart in age). That was the great thing about being in the middle!
As for my kids, my son is nearly 4 years older than my daughter. I would say they are affectionate with each other at times and have been over the years. I think they play together more than most brother/sister with this age gap but it is mostly that my daughter adores her older brother and has evolved into this hockey playing, mini-stick loving chick who can hardly relate to girls her own age!
I think your girls are who they are and the best thing you can do is accept their dynamic and just let it happen how it will. I bet that they will have a unique connection that you can’t anticipate at this point in time.
My mom told me I was forever following my one sister around but not the other. BUT I know when I was little they were both really affectionate with me but not each other (I am the baby). I wonder with three if that’s not just the normal order of things!
i’m glad you wrote this post. i thought my 2 girls would be all cuddly but it’s rare…actually, it’s never with the spontaneous hugs and that sort of thing. with me and dad it’s all the time…just not with each other. the little one tries but the older one resists. however, they play together really intensely and it’s fascinating to see.
It’s so hard to tell how they’ll grow to be with one another… as long as they quit smashing each other with things, they’ll probably be fine. My kids tend to be very affectionate with each other, but I’m aware that it could all turn on a dime. (BUt I’m hoping it never will!)