This month marks three years since I became a single mom. I’m not going to write a “poor me” blog, because the truth is, I’m not sad at all. I’m not even going to cry one single, salty tear in honour of the end of my marriage and this new, often terrifying, journey I’ve been on ever since.
Of course, at first, I didn’t know I’d end up to be a fully functioning, healthy, happy human being. At the time, left on my own with two boys, ages two and three, no husband, no security, no idea how I would survive the rest of my life, I wanted to curl up in a ball and cry until I died. And that isn’t an understatement, in case you’re wondering. I was a mess.
Then, slowly, but surely, I cried a little less. I got out of bed. I stopped feeling like this was the worst thing that had ever happened to me and started realizing that perhaps this was a second chance at something else.
I have been on a mission to discover what that “something else” might be. It wasn’t long before I started to figure it out.
In the three years since my marriage ended, I’ve made new friends, amazing friends who I can’t live without. I have a family who I rely on for support with my kids, life, everything. I have a boyfriend who is wonderful and thoughtful and caring and, in short, everything I could have wished for in a partner. I have two beautiful boys who are growing up to be mischievous, yes, but also loving and caring. I’ve taken them on road trips, plane trips, tied their skates, bandaged their booboos. I’ve watched them learn to bicycle, ski, climb fences and even play video games. I help them with their homework, I read to them, I tell them stories. I know their teachers and friends and I keep them busy with rich opportunities to socialize and learn and have fun. I’ve changed my last name back to my original, I freelance, I blog, I’m doing my Masters degree, I’m writing a book.
Life is not perfect: I still get rejected but I get back up. Each time I do, I’m faster to my feet. I am thankful for the opportunity to try and try again.
If you’re newly separated or divorced, I want you to know that you will be ok, even if you don’t feel like you will. You will learn to get out of bed, to value yourself, to enjoy life. And one day, whether it’s three months or three years after the day your marriage ended, you will be struck with the realization that this just might be the best thing that could ever happen to you.
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