It’s spring, and to marketers, that means it’s time to ramp up the destruction of women’s self-esteem once more. As we shed our puffy coats, we’re bombarded with images of short-shorts and bikinis, followed closely by 14 Day Fixes, spring cleanses and a thousand different ways to get our bodies “bikini ready”. If you scroll through social media feeds or even Google “spring diet news”, you’ll be bombarded with ideas that promise to change your life by helping you drop those “unsightly pounds”.
You know what? Stop.
If you want to wear the bikini, just wear the bikini already.
Every year we go through the same ritual—oops, everyone’s going to see us without sixteen layers of clothing, so we better make sure our bodies are acceptable! Better hurry up and lose our hibernation weight. Sounds silly when I say it like that, doesn’t it? But that’s exactly what we’re doing. We’re telling ourselves that we’ve let ourselves deteriorate over the cold weather months and we’d better brush up on our bodies before someone, gasp, starts the best mom body competition.
Year after year we’re posting about weight loss and diet changes and newfangled plans to drop pounds that, honestly, I think aren’t worth losing if it takes that much effort. If something really worked, why would we be playing the same tune on repeat? The genius in all these plans is that they are never permanent fixes, that’s what makes them profitable. If it was easy to lose weight and keep it off, we’d all be thin, right?
But here’s the thing: we’re not all the same. A revolutionary idea, isn’t it? We’re not all meant to be the same size, isn’t that crazy? We are diverse—some tall, some not, some apples, some pears, some bananas. And each one of us is perfect in our bikini already. Or in our one-piece. Or in absolutely anything we want to wear.
Right now, you may be thinking, “Why is she telling us things we already know?” and to you, I reply, “Because you still haven’t really heard the message”. Because you still complain about your weight, your lumps, your stretch marks or your wrinkles. Because you still don’t really get it.
Life’s not about wishing away pounds, it’s about playing in the sand and wearing the things we want to wear regardless of what arbitrary rules someone else may try to impose on us. It’s about getting dirt under our nails and sand in our hair, and having fun and being comfortable in our own skin. It doesn’t have to be this hard.
One of the most popular pieces I’ve ever written on my blog was about how I just didn’t feel like fighting this battle anymore, and how we’re all already enough, just as we are. I truly feel this way, and I want nothing more than to see you all wearing those bikinis this summer.
Shame on you Alexandria Durrell, Shame on you and all other women who put each other down. Women were not meant to walk around in skimpy clothing,and be naked, to satisfy men and their lustful gazes,
If you as a female, truly love, support, and respect your female gender, then you would be giving a totally different message to women.. You have been given a platform, to speak, so use it wisely.
You remind me of those snarky women in the world, who blast pregnant women about not wanting inlaws and her dad to come into her delivery room. Those snarky people say that nobody will be looking at her vagina when the baby comes out. Now, here you are, kind of like one of those snarky people, telling women to just go ahead and wear a bikini, designed by a man, because no one will be noticing her bumps and lumps.
See, in the first time place, women should not have to wear skimpy clothing all the time. Men keep encouraging women to dress to satisfy men. That’s evil!! It’s too much. We are always teasing and laughing at women about their bodies. Enough is enough. BTW, why don’t you just tell women, to get a one piece, that is not so tight on her She needs comfort just like men. Or tell them women to ♀️wear a t-shirt and some shorts to the beach, just like men do. I don’t see you telling men to put in some tight bikini bottoms, where the print of their genitals are showing. Why not tell men the sane thing. ??
She, if you have awareness and common sense ( I know you do). you would realize that society scolds women and girls fir every little thing. Yet we kiss up and support and brag on men all the time. Enough is Enough. Feb 21-2021
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It’s so “funny”..I was at Great Wolf Lodge on the weekend and there might have been one “bikini body” there in all of those people. I saw lots of people, all beautiful in whatever skin they’re in and no one had any issues. I don’t understand all of the hate that goes on when people shame other people about how they look when the majority of people just look like people. It boggles my mind that people can’t see that the models in the magazines are 18 year old girls selling cellulite creams and wrinkle reducers.
Y’all are beautiful!
alex durrell says
Totally agree! I mean, it’s not about the bikini, it’s about feeling great in whatever we want to wear. 🙂