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You are here: Home / Parenting / Illness / Why I’m Thankful For Vomit

Why I’m Thankful For Vomit

January 21, 2015 by Alison Tedford 7 Comments

shutterstock_163449350Being a mom is an awful lot like being a house mother at a frat house, I imagine. Your charges sleep a lot, they watch mindless television and they throw up in the most random locations. My child is in competition with the two cats as to who is the grossest resident.  Anyone with a black light and a crime scene kit would draw the wrong conclusions about what kind of atrocities took place within our home.

I’m an analyst, so it’s my job to draw conclusions about the probability of future occurrences based on past history (ideally over a five year window to maximize accuracy). I have learned some things about vomit and its likelihood in the statistically significant seven year time period I have been caring for my young son.

My precious progeny will only barf in my bed if I am occupying the very last set of clean sheets in the house. If there are additional sheets at the ready, but no clean towels, he will only barf on the rug and perhaps the wall if he is feeling particularly athletic. When he is safely installed in his own bed with a large bowl by his side, I can settle in and sleep in my nauseatingly smelly bedroom with the knowledge that my slumber will not be interrupted. These episodes will only occur when I am out of rug cleaning detergent.

You might be wondering about the title of this piece and how anyone could be thankful for vomit. I mean, it’s gross, it’s stinky, and it leaves a mess. It’s an entirely different variety of vomit I am thankful for: Word Vomit. This is the title of emails exchanged with a dear mommy blogger friend of mine. We are separated by a border and by time zones but we share beloved editors, a common citizenship in the kingdom of parenthood and an attachment to both our word babies and our human babies.

shutterstock_166649951

We know that when times get tough, we can drop each other an email of word vomit, let it all out and feel better knowing someone understands. She’s even the kind of girl who will hold your hair back. From what I recall of my days spent green with nausea while incubating my bundle of awesome, that is something very precious.

My career as a college student might have been short, but I get to experience the highs and lows of living in a frat house through my interactions with my precious seven year old boy. I’m so thankful for the pleasure of being his mother, but on particularly stressful days, it helps to have reinforcements. If it wasn’t for my favourite sorority sister, I don’t know how I would get through it.

Filed Under: Illness, Kids, Parenting Tagged With: friends, kids, mom friends, mommy bloggers, parenting, vomit, word vomit

Comments

  1. Jill Robbins says

    January 21, 2015 at 5:17 pm

    This is so beautiful! I mean, not the part about vomit but how you drew the parallels to love of writing and to friendship. I would hold your hair anytime, although I am a sympathy barfer, so we’d need some other folks to pick up the slack.

    Reply
    • allie says

      January 22, 2015 at 12:45 am

      I’m so Canadian I have to vomit by committee too. Definitely a sympathy barfer!

      Reply
  2. The Dusty Parachute says

    January 21, 2015 at 4:40 pm

    I love this – 1) Because I can relate to giving my daughter a barf bowl that’s about 6′ in diameter and *still* have her miss it and 2) Because I love both your & Jenny’s writing and it’s fun to hear about your friendship. (Sidenote, Jenny and I somehow discovered that we used to live about 2 blocks from each other, but she has never held back my hair while barfing.)

    Reply
    • allie says

      January 22, 2015 at 12:46 am

      Awww! I bet she feels terrible about that now 🙂 Thanks for reading 🙂

      Reply
  3. Jenny Kanevsky says

    January 21, 2015 at 2:59 pm

    Crying. You are the sweetest. I’ll hold your hair back any day. Love you. BTW, word vomit email coming your way today :). Great post as always.

    Reply
    • allie says

      January 22, 2015 at 12:46 am

      Love you too! and thank you:)

      Reply

Trackbacks

  1. Sick Kids and Mommy Pals: Why I'm Thankful for Vomit says:
    February 27, 2015 at 1:50 pm

    […] You can see this post with the spiffy graphics the UrbanMoms team selected here. […]

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