“You know those things where you squish them and they are gushy and the stuff squeezes out through the other side of your hand? It feels like that!” my son said gleefully. What on earth was he talking about? Oh yes, that would be my belly. What does mommy’s belly feel like? He was trying to describe the unique, yielding texture of a stress ball squeezed tightly in his little hand.
I guess I could have been offended by the rather unflattering comparison, but I wasn’t. The reality is that I’m not the kind of mom to get wrapped up in the minutae of the process of getting my “pre-baby body” back. I’m not a get fit quick, get bikini body ready, nothing tastes as good as skinny feels person.
Seven years post baby, it’s just not going to happen. I have given up waiting. It’s not that I’m not dedicated enough at the gym; I am always happy to sweat buckets and buckets. It’s not that I don’t eat properly; I never met a salad I didn’t like. It’s just that my pre-baby body didn’t go anywhere for me to get it back from. It’s been here all along.
I was pregnant, not body snatched. It’s not like my body is a car I left with the valet who is taking his sweet time to bring it around front so I can resume my day. If it were a car being returned to me at long last, it certainly didn’t get dinged up and battered in the parking garage, now in desperate need of repair. It’s current condition is a matter of opinion.
My son’s opinion is always kinder than mine. On particularly rough days, he is the mirror I need to look in to see myself more clearly. Every month, I eagerly await the arrival of a shiny pink envelope of cosmetics. My son does not understand my excitement. He says, “Why do you buy makeup FOR NO REASON? You’re already pretty, mommy.” And then I melt, and whatever mascara I may be wearing slides down my cheeks in inky black droplets down the canvas of my ivory foundation.
I’m a mess, but a beautiful one according to my son.
He didn’t mean to offend me in describing my belly. He was reflecting on the enjoyable sensation of giving me a great, big, squishy hug and how it feels just like squishing a stress ball.
Why is that? Because it always makes him feel better.
Love it. I’ve learned to accept, that six babies and a physical disability later, some things are just meant to stay.
I’m so glad you are happy 🙂
I adore this. ADORE it. I am a work in progress, but I know that the body I had before ain’t coming back. There are days I curse the tummy pouch I have as a result of my less than gentle emergency c-section, and days when I know that it is there, in part, because my little dude arrived safely. He doesn’t like it when I wear makeup either, because I am “perfecto” just as I am. These little people are wise. You are fantastic Allie!
Q is the best and so are you 🙂 I’m glad you enjoyed. I think you are perfecto too!
So much love for this! I am working on loving my body everyday, so I really enjoyed this post!
I wish you all the success in the world with that 🙂
Love. Reminds me of when my son heard me say I was on a diet and told me not to lose too much weight because I wouldn’t be comfy anymore.
aww that is just the cutest thing I have ever heard.
It’s too bad you aren’t PERFECT at writing things and PERFECT just how you are. Seriously, Allie. Couldn’t love you or this post any more. <3 MK
I love you, MK. Thanks for your undying support 🙂
Love this. “I’m a mess, but a beautiful one according to my son”.
Glad you enjoyed 🙂
I always love your outlook. from the moment you decorated your scale I thought, “This chick is really good at decorating” I also thought, ” She has the right outlook on body image” I am sure plenty of women out there need to hear this sort of advice and it is awesome to be friends with such a talent who can spread that message.
I’m so thankful for your friendship, Briton. xo
“It’s just that my pre-baby body didn’t go anywhere for me to get it back from. It’s been here all along.”
Yes! You described this so beautifully. And, of course, so did your son 🙂
Thank you so much. I really enjoy your work, particularly your piece on overcoming self-doubt as a writer. It was very meaningful to me.
Aww, this is so lovely. I struggled for a long time to accept my post-pregnancy body. However, the children that helped shaped it prove every day that this body is perfect.
I’m glad you have found some peace.
Aww, so true. If only we took our children more seriously. I know I NEED to! My son is the same, even telling me I’m skinny. LOL! He says I’m perfect and don’t need makeup. Gotta love these kids! Great post, Alison!
sounds like you have a real gem there!
LOVE THIS!!!
love YOU!
Wonderful Post. Kids never lie. You are perfect just the way you are!
Thank you!
Yes, yes a million times yes. I love this so much. You were not body snatched. You made a person. Great post.
Thank you 🙂 xo