I was speaking with a colleague of mine recently, who was concerned because her 2.5 year old started uncharacteristically waking during the night and throwing tantrums. Her daughter would wake frequently, sometimes for up to 2 hours, and would be inconsolable.
The more we spoke, the more eerily familiar her story seemed. As it turns out, both of our kids, of roughly the same age, seem to be experiencing the same problem.
So I’m calling on all Moms, Dads, and in the best case scenario, paediatricians who are also Moms or Dads, to help us figure out what the hell is going on with our little one’s sleep patterns lately.
Here’s a breakdown of the symptoms and external factors in Pea’s case:
Symptoms:
- Frequent night waking, but without really seeming conscious;
- “Crying,” that is to say, crying without tears;
- Tendency to throw tantrums and kick legs violently;
- Sustained and constant rubbing of hips during wakings;
- Seeming inability to get comfortable;
- Inconsolable, until she suddenly just stops and goes back to sleep.
External Factors:
- Poor indoor air quality, made substantially better by the constant operation of an air purifier;
- New daytime routine — Pea is now in school all day;
- Dropping of the mid-day nap — Pea doesn’t seem willing to sleep during quiet time at school;
- Recently potty-trained;
- Fairly consistent bedtime routine — bath at 7:00 PM, milk and cereal at 7:30 PM, in bed by 7:45 PM, stories for 15 minutes, quick trip(s) to the potty, lights out by 8:10 PM, asleep by 8:30 PM;
- Issues seemed to begin around Christmas time, when her schedule was severely disrupted by holiday cheer and merriment;
- She has never really been a good sleeper and seems to take two steps forward and one giant step back every few months.
There you have it. I’d love to hear your interpretation of any one, or combination or these symptoms and factors. I’ve got a few theories of my own but I am interested in what others have to say.
I guess you could say that if this was “Who wants to be a parent to a child who sleeps really well,” I would be reaching out to y’all as my phone a friend lifeline!
How did her night go?
I hope Pea had a better night, last night. My kids do this a the end of a major growth spurt, or when something big has changed for them (first week or so back at playschool, new kids coming to our house for childcare, start or end of a lengthy family vacation, etc., etc.). Our Ped. did not consider them to be night terrors, but he did think the kids were having deep, vivid dreams as well as achey joints and muscles. What’s going on in the dreams may not actually be something traditionally scary, if that makes any sense. It’s just the way they might be working out anxieties caused by the changes in their lives. Anyway, the first round of this with my daughter (she’s almost five, now) was terrifying for us, but she has gotten better at handling it as she gets older, and it’s become far less frequent. My son (he’s 2.5) went through this the first time just before Christmas (lucky us). It helped him to have a dim night-light in his room so that he could see where he was when he came out of his dreams.
Thanks everyone!
My first inclination was night terrors, but the way she is behaving is different. I know night terrors VERY WELL! She used to get them periodically when she was younger. This is different. I thought maybe growing pains and it occurred to me last night that maybe she had to go pee but wasn’t voicing herself.
I think Sara and Audrey make good points… maybe the milk before bedtime is a thing of the past. Aud, I think she is OK with dairy as she has the stuff at most meals without issue… but perhaps before bedtime it’s too much. I put her to bed tonight with nothing but a few sips of water in her gullet. We’ll see what lies ahead… pardon the pun…
Absolutely sounds like night terrors. My (now 4 yr old) daughter went through the same thing and every now and again it will crop up if there is a big life change (like when her baby sister was born and again when baby sister was hospitalized for a few days and when my mom died). It’s awful because you really cannot make it stop…just kind of holding them until sleep comes again. Good luck, and hopefully it passes quickly.
Night terrors…I quadruple it. Will and I have just gone through it as well…it’s scary – but as Ali says – they don’t remember it at all. If she’s safe…and I know you, and you aren’t as callous as me, I leave Will, turn the tv up loud and wactch and go back adn check in every few minutes becuase frankly, he acts up worse when I try to touch him. It’s hard…I feel for you – it lasted about a month for us. He had a quick one last night though.
The other thing, and I can’t believe I’m saying this as I’m a non-book reader, I have read that milk before bed at this age only makes their bellies hurt. Better to just stick to water is what I’m told.
Hang in there!!!
Hi Shawn:
I would say night terrors as well. Also could be “growing pains”. Aches and pains that can’t be attributed to any fall. Should stop on it’s own as quickly as it started.
Night terrors.
100%
The sad thing is…there’s really NOTHING you can do.
The good thing is…it’s MUCH worse for us as parents than for the kids. They don’t even remember.
Two of my kids had them – both of my girls. The good thing is that they are just a phase…and will go away on their own!
I was just going to say what Christine said – you’re probably right that all the recent changes in her life might be “messing” with her a little bit – but night terrors are totally normal (though a bit terrifying to watch!) and it may be a quick faze, or something she experiences at night for years, on and off. I think the good news is that she likely will have no recollection of any of it, as long as she’s free of physical harm – she’ll just go back to sleep when she’s done.
No fun to witness though… my son only experienced them a few times – and then not again. Sometimes I still hear him yelling at someone/something in the night, but it’s not the same as “the terrors.” I’ll bet there’s a wealth of info out there – and ask her doctor too.
Good luck!!
If she doesn’t seem conscious or awake, and then just stops, my guess would be night terrors. Q got them when he was younger.
However, since the holidays, Q has been waking up in the night and crying inconsolably for up to 2 hours. He is awake, though, and can be distracted. He can’t get comfortable and he seems frustrated that he can’t fall asleep. Eventually, he just suddenly stops and sleeps. We don’t know why. I chalked it up to being out of routine over the holidays.
Maybe it’s the age??
Hi Shawn,
Ok as a Registered Holistic Nutritionist my bias is to always look for dietary causes. Would you be willing to try one week of no dairy? It might sound odd, but she could be experiencing some intestinal pain (rubbing of hips?). Dairy is the #1 allergy, and kids take in so much of it (b/c the dairy industry has really convinced us it’s a crime to not give your kids milk… but that’s my soapbox so I’ll step down now).
Try one week without dairy (that means milk, cheese, yogurt, ice cream, baked goods and anything else that contains milk) and see if it improves. Don’t be surprised if she craves for dairy and asks for it, as we have to go through a sort of withdrawal when it comes to foods we are allergic or sensitive to.
Good luck and if you try it, let me know if it helped.
Audrey
This sounds exactly like night terrors. My son (now 9) had them at the exact same time every night for 2 years. They eventually grow out of them. I researched and took him to 2 doctors, but they were of no help to me. Just keep her safe while they are happening and avoid trying to wake her up. 🙂
Sounds like night terrors. I’m no help on this one as my kids never experienced them. Hopefully more readers will have some advice for you.
And here’s hoping for some more restful nights!