There are some things that only truly become magical when you become a parent. It’s hard to explain how the presence of a small human can transform the ordinary into the extraordinary, but I will do my best. I definitely underrated these four things before I became a parent:
With the birth of my child, I was given a whole new last name. It’s “CanYouHoldThis”. It’s pronounced exactly the way it looks, as in Mom CanYouHoldThis. Pockets safely and stylishly stash little cars, cool rocks, feathers, half-eaten snacks and whatever other treasures my little hoarder generates in our travels. Pockets save me from things like fanny packs, which makes them a fashion super hero in my books. Pockets to the rescue!
There’s a magical land where you can have a shower and nobody needs you. Nobody flushes and messes with your hot water. You don’t have to relocate an entire bath toy village just to appropriate enough square footage to shave your legs. That magical land is called “Ladies Locker Room” and it’s serenity is safeguarded by “Gym Child Care”. Some times I don’t even workout. (shhhh!).
It looks like a juice box but it’s really a plug. It safely contains babbling for several precious minutes. Repeat as necessary throughout the day to keep sanity intact. You can use the empty container to teach a lesson about recycling. You win, your kid wins, the planet wins, everybody wins. When my kid has a play date I feel like Oprah “You get a juice box! And you get a juice box! And you get a juice box!”
These fun filled school activities are lovingly referred to as “Lunch Packing Amnesty Day” and “Who Cares That I’m Behind on Laundry Again Day”. We are definitely participating in that stuff, every single time, without exception. I have happy childhood memories of hot dog day, but I realize now that my mom was probably even happier than I was.
My son was the little thing who made other little things that much sweeter. Pockets, juice boxes, interruption-free leg shaving and amnesty from household chores and paper lunch bags became significantly more valuable. All of these things were underrated before his arrival but I’ve seen the light, even if it’s the ever unflattering fluorescent gym locker room light. At least I don’t have to move any bath toys.