We’ve had a tough spell around here lately. My happy-go-lucky boy has been replaced with a sullen, weepy kid at home and an aggressive, grumpy kid at school. Tales from school were all filled with ‘who picked on me’ and ‘who is mean to me’ and ‘who doesn’t like me.’ Exhausting. Seriously. And I feel horrible for him but at the same time, I know he isn’t innocent in all of this.
And I wasn’t the only one noticing. It really is a crew that raises our kids right? I spoke to his teacher and his daycare teachers. We all agreed that something was up.
I think what hit me was when his teacher said, ‘it just seems like the happy kid who started in September is fading.’. Nope. Enough. I wasn’t going to let that happen. We all brainstormed about what the issues could be. We all agreed to talk to Will and to keep in touch.
First off! I know that kids learn at home so I take responsibility for being a yeller. I’ve written about it before and I’m trying guys but I come by it honestly. This was the real wake-up call that I needed though and I’m really making a concerted effort to talk in a reasonable voice and be more patient. I’ve also cleared my calendar for December and we’re making it The Month Of Will. I just want to smother him and have lots of time for us to talk and be together.
His teacher asked him to make a list of who was picking on him and why. This week, she’s going to have Will talk to them about what is upsetting him. Oh to be a fly on the wall for those convos.
My sister and I talked about it and agreed that the tears at home were likely from feeling guilty about being so aggressive at school, which really isn’t his personality. I talked to Will. I asked what would make him happier at school. He suggested not eating lunch in the gym. I told him this was not negotiable (for my sanity) and asked what else. He said he just wanted to be with his friends.
I’ve learned you don’t get anything with out asking. I talked to the daycare to see if he could go back to his old senior kindergarten class for before and after school. They agreed. He was over the moon. After the first day, I asked how it was and he said, ‘it’s just so quiet Mom.’ It’s only been a few days and I already see a change in him.
He ran into school with a smile on his face this morning. He came bounding in from school today, no winching. He got ready for Beavers without issue, which has been an absolute brawl to get him too for weeks. I picked him up early from a daycare party and he told me he didn’t want to leave yet.
I hesitated to make the switch because I thought it was moving backward and not forward. I thought he should learn how to deal with his peers and the older kids and deal with it. But you know what? My gut said it was the right move for him. He spends all day with his peers in his grade one class. He has a lot of friends who are older than he is that he sees on a regular basis.
And ultimately. The kid is social. He’s just overwhelmed by all the loud kids. He’s over-stimulated. And he was unhappy. I’m not saying it’s problem solved but I’m so happy to see a positive change.
So ‘trust your gut’ triumphs again. Don’t you think that all parenting books should be done away with and we should just have Trust Your Gut tattoo’ed on our faces before we leave the maternity ward??