Do you define yourself as a “Tiger Mom”? A new study says that you may be negatively affecting your child’s self-esteem and adjustment in the classroom.
A survey of 589 middle and high school students in Hangzhou, China found that adolescents with parents who are controlling, punitive and less supportive in their parenting style are struggling. The survey asked kids about how they perceive the behaviour of their parents as well as questions about their self-esteem, school adjustment, depression and any problem behaviour.
“Our research shows that ‘Tiger Mother’ type of parenting among Chinese parents, specifically controlling, punitive, and less supportive type of parenting is really not working for adolescents,” said Cixin Wang, assistant professor at the University of California Riverside’s Graduate School of Education.
The study found that parents who tend to be emotionally less expressive and use less praise in parenting need to make an effort to show their approval, support and love for their children on a regular basis.
“The findings refute the idea that the traditional, strict ‘Chinese’ upbringing that gained widespread attention in the 2011 book ‘Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother’ by Amy Chua, is superior,” researchers noted.
So… this month you should go easier on your kids. Next month, who knows? It seems that with every new study on parenting, there is a new way to raise your kids.
I could be wrong, but maybe the secret is to take the middle ground: show your kids love and support, but also lay down the law when it is necessary.
Basically it comes down to the fact that there isn’t one right way to raise your kids. You have to do what works best for you and your family… just remember to let your kids know that you love and support them every once in while.