The year was 1984. I loved the movie Footloose, singer Tina Turner and the band the Culture Club. Other bands from England like Bananarama and Kajagogo had that wild hair and eyeliner that seemed so very edgy and cool. My best friend started teasing her bangs and spraying them super high, using white zinc ointment as lipstick, and lining her inner eye waterline with blue eyeliner. I thought that she was so cool, and I wanted to do the same but at 13 years old, my mom wouldn’t let me.
As my own daughters entered tweenhood, I took a decidedly different approach. Makeup signified something different to me—probably because I have myself worked in the beauty industry—so I started letting them experiment with makeup as early as age 9. I’m not talking about full-on eyeliner and mascara, but a little bit of eyeshadow and lipgloss, if they wanted to, was okay by me. My older daughter was always a bit paler skinned with dark circles under her eyes, so by age 11, I was allowing her to wear concealer. Even encouraging it.
Not every mother in our school felt them same about our young daughters wearing makeup. One mother told me that her daughter complained, “Issy gets to wear makeup to school!” And I had to fess up that yes, I let my daughter wear some and even encouraged it. I explained that my philosophy was really centered around using makeup to enhance or solve a beauty problem, ie. undereye dark circles or dry lips. I also felt at the time that letting them dabble and try products early on would avoid them going overboard with garish makeup later in life.
I also always encouraged and even supervised their skin care routines. I got them regularly washing their faces with proper products by 4th grade. Once that became routine, they started noticing that they got fewer blemishes and didn’t have the same skin problems as their peers. By the time my oldest daughter reached high school, she was wearing a bit more makeup around the eyes, but she was proud of her clear skin, so she preferred going more natural.
My younger daughter has now entered the teen years and although she sometimes opts to wear a bit more mascara, given that she has always been allowed to wear makeup, she isn’t as interested. I think that slowly introducing it at an early age helped to take the mystery and intrigue away. She isn’t hiding in any bathrooms, trying to emulate her favourite music artist like I was!
Every child is going to be different, but ultimately I feel that presenting my kids with some options early on, and especially encouraging great skincare routines, paid off in the long run. And if your tween wants to wear a little makeup, don’t make it a big deal, I say! As long as they are expressing themselves with confidence, individuality and not hurting anyone, I don’t think it’s a problem. There will be more issues that arise when they become teens, of much greater importance. Trust me.
I am 11 years old and I am talking on behalf of my mum. my skin is really dry and I suffer from eczema, so I am not allowed make-up, it is very bad for your skin and can make you grow spots on your face and dark circles under your eyes,I recommend people with skin problems to not use any type of makeup, the only two things that are safe enough are eye liner and lip gloss,
Makeup can be bad for kids skin. If your child wears a little and learns to wash their face right then it is ok.
it has helped for my kid thank you
I am 13 and in the 8th grade I’ve been wanting to wear makeup ever since I turned 11 but I never got the courage to ask my mom I don’t want her to say no and then get mad at me
My 11-year-old recently asked to wear make up. I sat down with her and made her look in the mirror and tell me what she loved about her face and what she didn’t. What she didn’t like were the dark circles under her eyes, but she loved the colour of her face (freckly cheeks, but naturally pink) and her eyes – which I have called her swimming pool eyes since she was little. I showed her how to use a little bit of concealer under her eyes, and some pastel eye shadow. She inherited my thick eyelashes, so all she needs is clear mascara. I only allow pastels – so she has a few pinkish/clear/shimmery lip glosses which she can use as she wishes.
She also understands that if she is going to wear make up, then she has to make sure she removes it correctly and that she looks out for her skin. She feels like she is doing her body a service to spend the time washing her face with an appropriate skin care product, and taking charge of her personal hygiene.
My daughter has days when she goes to school without a drop of make up, and other days when she feels like glamming it up a bit. The point is, she wears the make up – the make up does not wear her. I think this is the most important lesson to learn. There are some grown women who still haven’t figured this out, so if she understands this at 11, then why not let her wear it?