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You are here: Home / Parenting / Humour / OMG NO, DO NOT WANT.

OMG NO, DO NOT WANT.

August 10, 2013 by Emily 5 Comments

OMG NO DO NOT WANT.

I was just at the grocery store picking up produce to make baby food for my friend Aimee‘s little one, and the most beautiful man in the world was also there. He was tall and lithe, with effortlessly wavy brown hair and eyes that were poetic in their depth, wise, and so green. In a simpler time, I might have thrown myself at him, begged him to run away with me to Barcelona or Paris or Montreal.

And then he turned around.

And he was wearing a baby.

As the mother of a toddler, the sight of this made my ovaries recoil and declare “BACK THE EFF OFF, WE DON’T WANT WHAT YOU’RE SELLING.”

Is this a sign that I am getting old? Or is a sign that I have a Terrible Two?

It may be time to officially commit to “one and done” with a tattoo across my belly that reads “NO BABIES ALLOWED.”

Filed Under: Humour, Infants & Toddlers, Parenting Tagged With: humour, men, ovaries, toddler

Comments

  1. melanie says

    August 14, 2013 at 4:01 am

    The women of Brazil have a great saying which you could get tattooed on you: “A fábrica está fechada” It means, “The factory is closed”. My husband keeps saying that about me now that my tubes are tied.

    Reply
  2. Sara Lanthier says

    August 13, 2013 at 2:18 am

    Holy crap you’re funny…..so hilarious.

    Reply
  3. Aileen says

    August 12, 2013 at 11:52 am

    “Made my ovaries recoil”. Bah! My ovaries do the same. I have a friend with 3 children who “wouldn’t be sad” if she got pregnant again. *shudders*

    Reply
    • Emily Wight says

      August 12, 2013 at 3:27 pm

      Gah! I would be apoplectic.

      Reply
  4. Grumble Girl says

    August 10, 2013 at 10:57 pm

    Dude. I am soooo with you. *fistbump*

    Reply

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