Every single day I wonder:
“Have I done enough for him?”
“Am I doing enough for him?”
“Did I do enough today?”
“Do we have enough money for this?
“Is my effort and energy enough?”
And every single day I think the answer is no.
I know that I can only do what I can do but I always go to bed thinking that I could have done more.
I know that I can only do what I can do but I always go to bed thinking that I could have done more.
I was given some sound advice from a fellow ASD parent last night. He suggested that when I feel that way – just try to do better tomorrow.
Guilt is a common emotion that wracks parents who are raising children with autism.
I know that myself, I read about and see what others are doing for their kids. The therapies and remedial programs they are involved with. The professionals they see.
Why didn’t I think of that?
I should have done that when he was first diagnosed.
I wonder if he could benefit from that?
That sounds like something he could really use.
I know that myself, I read about and see what others are doing for their kids. The therapies and remedial programs they are involved with. The professionals they see.
Why didn’t I think of that?
I should have done that when he was first diagnosed.
I wonder if he could benefit from that?
That sounds like something he could really use.
I wish I could afford that.
I wish money was no object. People say money can’t buy happiness. True, but it can pay for private therapy and the supplements that aren’t covered. It can pay off our line of credit that we’ve used to help our son.
I don’t dream about a Hawaiian vacation or a cruise with my husband or a family trip to Disney.
My daydreams are about all the things I could do for him if money were no object.
The never ending help I could buy my kid. The programs I could put him in. The professional home schooling I could provide for him.
I don’t dream about a Hawaiian vacation or a cruise with my husband or a family trip to Disney.
My daydreams are about all the things I could do for him if money were no object.
The never ending help I could buy my kid. The programs I could put him in. The professional home schooling I could provide for him.
I have 2 other children and it carries over to them:
Did I do enough for them today?
Did I pay enough attention to them?
Did I show enough patience
Did they feel enough love from me?
I wish I could cut myself some slack. I think it’s a general maternal thing, but much more profound while raising a child with special needs.
We are just coming out of a rough couple of weeks with Cuyler.
It is when we are in those valleys that I always question whether or not we’re doing enough. Always looking for the reason why we are in the funk.
We are coming out of the funk so that tells me that we are doing something right.
We’re doing enough. We did enough for today.
Tomorrow I will try to do better.
It is when we are in those valleys that I always question whether or not we’re doing enough. Always looking for the reason why we are in the funk.
We are coming out of the funk so that tells me that we are doing something right.
We’re doing enough. We did enough for today.
Tomorrow I will try to do better.
(I couldn’t find a pic to attach to this entry so you get to see my CuyCollage. He’s gorgeous and I can’t get enough of his face. Those eyes. Those lips. That dimple.)
What Julie said.
I’m too distracted to write – because i’m staring at the pictures.
It’s the judgement that does us in. I hope that you can go to bed and say, “Today I did the best with the knowledge I had today, with the patience I had today and with the resources I had today”. Tomorrow is tomorrow and I wonder how you can try harder??? I believe you do everything everyday. If that don’t “work” don’t judge your efforts as bad -please. You put your all in, sister.
Comparing is a mind mess and we live in a time when our baselines are out the window and our normal is in question. There is no such thing.
Cuyler lives in a warm, safe home, his family loves him unconditional (with the frustration, angry and fear included in the unconditional package) and he is offered everything you all have. If there is big gap some days that is the problem of “autism” not parental love, effort or ability.
I love you,
K
i think that thought goes through all of our minds…i guess the fortunate thing is that most of us know that we can “blow it off” and start again the next day whereas thinking about cuyler’s future and general health cannot be blown off for an instant.
you are obviously doing better each day because it shows in your posts with all of the milestones and progressions made! i know you post about the steps back but you also post about the leaps forward. the big picture looks good from here 🙂
Judging by those beautiful and happy eyes I would say you are doing everything right;)