Remember last year when I was moaning about the grossness of potties? Yeah, well I continued to moan inside my head about it for months and months, until I became brilliant.
But wait… isn’t she brilliant already? you might ask… and indeed, I TRULY AM!!
A few short weeks ago, as my mum and sister were due to arrive as visitors for the week, I began the bathroom clean-up (not the spot-wipe kind – I mean the real kind, with spray bottles and cleansers) and as I narrowly cast my eyes sideways to the nasty little plastic potty, I thought, “Rubbish. I hate cleaning this thing. She’s tall enough. It’s time.”
Me: *all breezy-like* Hey, Ava Scarlett, guess what?
She: What?
Me: You grew! You’re a BIG! GIRL! and I think you’re tall enough to sit on the BIG! toilet like everybody else. *waggles eyebrows*
She: *nonplussed* But… I like my potty!
Me: I know you do. But, you’re BIG! now. It’s time to pee like a BIG! girl.
She: *crumpling* But I LIKE IIIIIIIT!
Me: I know, peach. But this is better. And anyway, only babies use potties. You’re BIG!!
She: No, babies have diapers, mummy.
Me: Yes, you’re right… I mean leedle, small-small kids use potties. BIG! kids use the BIG! toilet, like grown-ups do! And afterwards, you get to flush it yourself. *waggle-waggle* Fun!
She: Okay.
Me: Okay.
So now we do this:
JOY!!
And that was it! It all went supremely well. Too well, really. I put it in the basement for a week (I had thoughts about donating it, but then thought, “Ew. No.”) so on the next garbage day, out it went with the other refuse from the week before.
Unfortunately, she spied it in the heap and watched the garbage-man toss it into the back of the noisy, stinking, nasty truck, and watched the mechanism chomp it, while a small lake of trash-bin juice oozed out onto the ground.
She lost her mind.
She: My potty!! Myyyyy paaaaaaw-deeeeeeee!! *big fat tears and hysteria*
Oliver sat on the balcony with her and watched the garbage truck drive up the lane, trying to comfort her. And laughing his hilarious, infectious laugh at the same time.
Me: *exasperated* C’mon, man. Be sweet…
He laughs harder because I said C’mon man which only ever makes them laugh harder at me when I’m trying to tell them something serious. Ack, these children…
She: It’s gone.
Me: Yes.
She: But, I wanted to keep it. *sad eyes*
Me: But, you use the BIG! potty now… isn’t that better?
She: But… I wanted to keep it for-eh-verrr… *blinking sad eyes*
Me: But what do you need it for? Listen. We don’t keep these things. I mean, it had poop in it, right? *makes disgusting face* We need to throw it away now.
She hugs me, and buries her face into my legs, while I stand rubbing her back. I’m waiting for more tears, but there are none. She suddenly stops and looks up at me, grinning.
She: Can I have a marshmallow? *eyebrows high and hopeful*
Me: You are a sly fox, little girl…
She: *throws head back and laughs like the devil*
I still have to do the wiping part, but I can deal with that for a while. (I let her try to do it once… I think I threw that pair of panties in the trash at the end of the day. Yikes.)
So that, my friends, was the end of the potty. Any questions?
Congrats on getting rid of the potty! After reading your post though I had a startling realization that my kiddies have never used them…really – they either just sat on the toilet looking all scary like as though they might fall in or we had the potty thing that sits on top of the toilet seat to save them from falling in. I can imagine the joy though it must be to finally be free of them. As for public washrooms I used to have a portable folding thing that sat on top of the toilet – kind of like Idas talked about but slightly different – it just sat on top of the toilet. Who knows though once the twins are a bit older we may have two potty’s making a grand entrance;)
As for the munching from the garbage truck been there a few times and not fun…
Ladies,
I have such OCD with toilet germs we still carry the “On The Go” folding potty Pottette by KALENCOM. It saved my sanity. I folds to a small pouch and has disposable drop in baggies.
I would sooner my kids open the folding pottette in the corner of Yonge and Bloor washroom and drop their pants and sit on this pottette any day than a filthy washroom. CANADIAN TIRE ARE YOU LISTENING!! (yes, their washrooms always near the damn auto shop is worse than a truck stop).
Don’t laugh, my 8 year old is a “frequent flyer” of washrooms, on one day outing we numbered them 8 times, she still uses it (she has a teeny behind lucky girl).
We keep it in the trunk of our car, take it on day trips by subway. We never leave it behind. Nothing spoils a nature hike then quitting 1/3 in to find a washroom back at the park entrance.
Once at a grocery store the ONE washroom was occupied for over 15 minutes and my then 3 year old could not hold it any longer. I said to hell with it, I popped it out from under the stroller, concealed her reasonably and she pooped right there in the potty. I tidied her up, the washroom finally opened up and I just tossed the baggie and washed my hands. Just as well, it was gross.
We’ve had this folding on for 6 years now (my kids toilet trained on their own at 2, they hated wet bums) and it still supports either of my kids.
Some days I’ve been tempted to see if it could hand my bottom….if my car trunk was big enough to hid me like it does them. Worth every penny we paid for it 10 times over.
Nope, not a saint. I swear too much. (Though they and I have a bit of lunacy in common, I think.) It’s not a composting potty (oh, God, can you IMAGINE!). It’s compostable. As in, once your little is ready to move on from the potty, the potty itself breaks down into industrial-compost-safe organics at the city dump. Or, if you’re extra crunchy, you can bury it in your yard and let the microorganisms take care of it. http://www.westcoastkids.ca/bECOpotty Am I the only one who thinks this is bizarre?
y’know, when you think about it (shudder) if everyone actually SAT, then there wouldn’t be all the horrors we usually see all over the seat! it’s a lot to take in, i realize, but everything would hit where it’s supposed to!
Oh, my bathroom feels bigger now that it’s gone for good.
And MY LEGS aren’t even long enough for the hover… I try not to think about it while I’m… sitting. (Gross.)
Four potties in one bathroom? *faints* You are a saint, Desi. And I’m very glad to know about the composting potties AFTER this whole ordeal. If I’d know before, I would have just been feeling guilty while flushing the stuff… but still prolly flushing the stuff. Boo! I am BAD for the universe, yo!
i never potty-d thankfully…there wasn’t any room for one anyway! but their legs aren’t long enough for “the hover”. they do have purell showers regularly in public washrooms, tho’.
Hooray for you! We’re getting there. I have three who use the toilet, two who use their beloved potties, one still in diapers, and one who still waffles between using the potty, the toilet and his pants. Still. Once upon a time I had four potties in my bathroom. Now I have two. Hallelujah! (Also, did you know you can buy compostable potties, now? I’m not joking about this. I actually had to go to the store and see them with my eyes to believe it.) Congrats on your potty freedom!
Oh, the liberation just makes a lady delirious, no? (Sorry about the jammies… sometimes there’s just no other way. *shudders*)
Ohmygod, I KNOW!! You did the right thing. They must learn “the hover” or learn to pee standing up – these are the only choices in a public washroom. Ew. (But I’m so thrilled for you that the training is OVER!!)
And poor Pablo-honey… I’d have been traumatized too, I think. But trikes are for FUN! Potties are for… ew. Good riddance.
Lovelovelove youyouyou tootootoo… xox
We through out our potty this week too!!!!!!! (I also threw out a pair of pj bottoms filled with caca …but hey it’s a start)
Yes I have a question. What do you do when your fairly recently potty-trained daughter has to pee and you are at yonge and bloor subway station or the like ?
This is what I did: held her over the toilet and lectured her on the virtues of NOT TOUCHING ANYTHING (and I am not a germaphobe by any stretch). Is there a better way?
lovelovelove to youyouyou, Monica
ps. Pablo is still traumatized by seeing his tricycle munched by the garbage truck!